Oh what a Pickle

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The Cancer causing Pickle

Do cellphones cause cancer? Maybe?but what about pickles? - By Brian Palmer - Slate Magazine

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The Cancer causing Pickle

Do*cellphones cause cancer? Maybe?but what about pickles? - By Brian Palmer - Slate Magazine

The dangers of pickles have been well known for years. Here's an article dating back to 1966:

Pickles will kill you! Every pickle you eat brings you nearer to death. Amazingly, the "thinking man" has failed to grasp the terrifying significance of the term "in a pickle". Although leading horticulturists have long known that Cucumis Sativus possesses indehiscent pepo, the pickle industry continues to expand.

Pickles are associated with all the major diseases of the body. Eating them breeds wars and Communism. They can be related to most airline tragedies. Auto accidents are caused by pickles. There exists a positive relationship between crime waves and consumption of this fruit of the cucurbit family. For example:

1. Nearly all sick people have eaten pickles. The effects are obviously cumulative.
2. 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten pickles.
3. 100% of all soldiers have eaten pickles.
4. 96.8% of all Red sympathizers have eaten pickles.
5. 99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate pickles within 14 days preceding the accident.
6. 93.1% of juvenile delinquents come from homes where pickles are served frequently.

Evidence points to the long-term effects of pickle-eating:

• Of the people born in 1839 who later dined on pickles, there has been a 100% mortality.
• All pickle eaters born between 1919 and 1929 have wrinkled skin, have lost most of their teeth, have brittle bones and failing eye-sight - if the ills of eating pickles have not already caused their death.
• Even more convincing is the report of a noted team of medical specialists: rats force-fed with 20 pounds of pickles per day for 30 days developed bulging abdomens. Their appetites for wholesome food were destroyed.

The only way to avoid the deleterious effects of pickle eating is to change eating habits. Eat orchid petal soup. Practically no one has any problems from eating orchid petal soup.

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The dangers of pickles have been well known for years. Here's an article dating back to 1966:

I saw this on line just before I posted and I cracked up about the mortality rate for the people born in 1839 I wonder if the same holds true for those born 10 years later?