Tweet
The following is an actual letter published in the Kentucky State Bar Journal in 1937, (payment was received by the next train, special delivery):
Dear Sir:
This is the third letter I have writ you in regardst to my claim for enjury of my spotted bull, a pet of my fambly, which we named Daniel Webster, but which we call Buster for short.
I already told you twist that yure trane hit my bull batween Holler Rock Junction and the second mile post comen this way. No reply from you except you sent me a blank to fill out - and dam the blank. A Filerdelphia lawyer could not fill hit out.
As I said before frum where the trane hit the bull it carried him a right smart peace beyond that pint. I tole you plane that the njine tore ofen a piece of his hide averagin eight inches from his under lip then sorta zagonal over his shoulder and back, and then down his left side clear to his nable on below part of his body.
The trane wheel also stripped off part of his hind hufes smack and smooth makin his feet very tender and sore so that he can not walk good without me and my boy Joe holden him up with a pole when he travils to pond for water which is only about two rods off from where he is.
Before this accident he was a very threatenin beast and mighty cantankerus. Since then he has a sad look and bawls most of the time, principally at night disturbin us considerable. He don't eat scarcely anythang except some dry meal because his jaws is mighty sore.
Tow of my nebors who I do not spek to say they will swar that this bull was struck by lighteen but they are a dam lie. He was hit by yure payoff speshial trane which come through my field a gallahooten at midnight of Mch. of the 20 with its whissle a screamin like hell.
Now if nuthin was hitten by this trane why was it screamin like hell? You cant answer. Neither can they. Nor nobody.
Now lissen right clost. Me and Henry Hefferman as apprazed this bull of value at eighteen dollars and six bits and he is as we say beyond doubtless a total loss. Henry says he aint never saw sich damage to a bull in his day and time, and neither have I and my boy Joe says the same and we all say he will never be any more use for a bull hardly not even for befe.
So take notice of this. This is writ on Friday and maled on North bound trane. Onlessen I receive a check in full by a Thursday next I heerd some people say that sum spikes are a going to git loost from the rales of yure rode which will cause the rales to spred out when yure passenger trane number 104 cums along.
Then thar will be some big headlines in the Paducky papers sayin that sum coaches went into the barpit in my field, that an injineer and a farman were kilt and hurten sum passengers right bad and maybe yure dam conductor Aleck Fulton will get a leg broke or both legs and I dont give a dam for that either.
Further and more to that you need not send that Pot bellied Burt Linn yure claim agt. down here to settle with me and mayby talk me out of the hole business with honey words and honey words don' git no baken at Stagners store over at Holler Rock Junction.
So you better send the check as I advice you for I aint in no state of mind to be talked to or have my word disputen nor written you letters which dont git no answer.
P.S. Jest a slite hint. Effen you think you will git this case in Judge Harewoods cote you are offen your nut.
Him and yure clame agt. is thick as theves an I wuld sware him offen the bench in a minute for I seen him and yure clain agt. a playing pich trumps in Shorty Dugans sody warter place for sody warter they said but I guess it were for sumpin stronger for Shortys place aint nuthin more or less than a salune and Shorty hisself saw this game if he will stick to what he said, which I very much dout as burds of a fether always floch together in the cote house and I dont mean maybe.
Git that and git it good for you cant mess with me no longer.
Dear Sir:
This is the third letter I have writ you in regardst to my claim for enjury of my spotted bull, a pet of my fambly, which we named Daniel Webster, but which we call Buster for short.
I already told you twist that yure trane hit my bull batween Holler Rock Junction and the second mile post comen this way. No reply from you except you sent me a blank to fill out - and dam the blank. A Filerdelphia lawyer could not fill hit out.
As I said before frum where the trane hit the bull it carried him a right smart peace beyond that pint. I tole you plane that the njine tore ofen a piece of his hide averagin eight inches from his under lip then sorta zagonal over his shoulder and back, and then down his left side clear to his nable on below part of his body.
The trane wheel also stripped off part of his hind hufes smack and smooth makin his feet very tender and sore so that he can not walk good without me and my boy Joe holden him up with a pole when he travils to pond for water which is only about two rods off from where he is.
Before this accident he was a very threatenin beast and mighty cantankerus. Since then he has a sad look and bawls most of the time, principally at night disturbin us considerable. He don't eat scarcely anythang except some dry meal because his jaws is mighty sore.
Tow of my nebors who I do not spek to say they will swar that this bull was struck by lighteen but they are a dam lie. He was hit by yure payoff speshial trane which come through my field a gallahooten at midnight of Mch. of the 20 with its whissle a screamin like hell.
Now if nuthin was hitten by this trane why was it screamin like hell? You cant answer. Neither can they. Nor nobody.
Now lissen right clost. Me and Henry Hefferman as apprazed this bull of value at eighteen dollars and six bits and he is as we say beyond doubtless a total loss. Henry says he aint never saw sich damage to a bull in his day and time, and neither have I and my boy Joe says the same and we all say he will never be any more use for a bull hardly not even for befe.
So take notice of this. This is writ on Friday and maled on North bound trane. Onlessen I receive a check in full by a Thursday next I heerd some people say that sum spikes are a going to git loost from the rales of yure rode which will cause the rales to spred out when yure passenger trane number 104 cums along.
Then thar will be some big headlines in the Paducky papers sayin that sum coaches went into the barpit in my field, that an injineer and a farman were kilt and hurten sum passengers right bad and maybe yure dam conductor Aleck Fulton will get a leg broke or both legs and I dont give a dam for that either.
Further and more to that you need not send that Pot bellied Burt Linn yure claim agt. down here to settle with me and mayby talk me out of the hole business with honey words and honey words don' git no baken at Stagners store over at Holler Rock Junction.
So you better send the check as I advice you for I aint in no state of mind to be talked to or have my word disputen nor written you letters which dont git no answer.
P.S. Jest a slite hint. Effen you think you will git this case in Judge Harewoods cote you are offen your nut.
Him and yure clame agt. is thick as theves an I wuld sware him offen the bench in a minute for I seen him and yure clain agt. a playing pich trumps in Shorty Dugans sody warter place for sody warter they said but I guess it were for sumpin stronger for Shortys place aint nuthin more or less than a salune and Shorty hisself saw this game if he will stick to what he said, which I very much dout as burds of a fether always floch together in the cote house and I dont mean maybe.
Git that and git it good for you cant mess with me no longer.
Do you know if they ever answered him?? ~Or just died laughing??
Comment