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Brilliant Beijing Hotel Brochure

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  • Brilliant Beijing Hotel Brochure

    Translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English ...

    Getting There:

    Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel
    runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You
    will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the
    bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to
    have intercourse with all new guests.

    The hotel:

    This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are
    always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in
    the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in
    the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not
    allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is
    ever left alone to play with them self.

    The Restaurant:

    Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At
    dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

    Your Room:

    Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every
    room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding
    obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road
    between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

    Bed

    Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any
    other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her.
    She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If
    asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

    Above all:

    When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You
    will struggle to forget it."

  • #2
    Lol

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    • #3
      OMG! You made my day!
      Now I'm thinking...I can most likely make a nice living as a Chinese/English translator.

      Comment


      • #4
        I'm about 90% certain that's a made up mis-translation. Doesn't make it any less funny, though. Very good work by whoever did it.
        “Maybe you shouldn't dress like that.”

        “This is a blouse and skirt. I don't know what you're talking about.”

        “You shouldn't wear that body.”

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        • #5
          Originally posted by T. R. Oglodyte View Post
          I'm about 90% certain that's a made up mis-translation.
          I think so, but don't you wish google translate would provide such entertaining results?

          Comment


          • #6
            I buy alot from China directly & from the Chinese here in the USA for my store and find the emails and descriptions on their websites hysterical too.
            They rarely match the item they are selling which gives us Americans an edge in the search engines of ebay.
            I gotta give them credit though, it can't be easy to do all the business they do having to learn how to write in our language.
            It's quite entertaining going to the trade shows too. They are such great sports about it.

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