I Know You're Really Attached To Your Dog, But None Of The Rest Of Us Want To Fly Wit

[lawren2 Malibu Beach Barbie & A Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close lawren2]

I Know You're Really Attached To Your Dog, But None Of The Rest Of Us Want To Fly With Her
http://www.forbes.com/sites/danielre...o#c12427565f61

Dan Reed , CONTRIBUTOR
I write about airlines, the travel biz, and related industries

Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own.
I love my dog, Bella! And I’m sure you would, too…

…though probably not if you met her – all 95 pounds of her – aboard a commercial airliner.

But that very well could be the place that you do meet Bella. And given my basic cheapness, it almost certainly would be in coach. That is guaranteed to make the ridiculously cramped row that you would share with me and Bella the source of maybe your best (or worst, depending on your perspective) travel nightmare story ever.

You see, I’m a big guy: 6’3” and too many pounds. Sitting next to a guy my size in coach these days can’t be any fun. And having Bella, a gorgeous white Labrador from a line of champion field trial dogs, squeeze in there with us promises to be brutal. She is huge, even by Labrador standards. Our vet says she’s the biggest female Lab he’s ever treated.

But, I promise, you’ll like her. You really will. She’s affectionate and funny. She just comes in a large, and VERY active package. When she stands on her hind legs her snout rises to the level of my chin, and she puts her front paws on my shoulders! All that body and her fondness for standing/sitting/laying very close to people can make sitting comfortably around her a bit of a challenge. Not to mention that she drools. A lot.

Now, if the prospect of flying with Bella – or any other dog – has you running back to the ticket counter to change flights, I understand. But if I decide, as thousands of others already have decided, to take abusive advantage of a law that was meant to accommodate people who honestly need personal assistance animals to function in this world, you could be my next seat-mate/victim.

Lucky for you, I’m not a jerk (at least not most of the time). So I won’t be getting Bella certified as my Emotional Support Animal. But I could, quite easily.

You see, for around $250, plus an express shipping fee, I could get Bella certified as an Emotional Support Animal by Saturday. Her beautiful certificate (suitable for framing) would come with a cool kit that includes a leash, a hard plastic name tag she can wear, and a cute doggie vest that would identify her special purpose (keeping me from freaking out in mid-air, or melting into a pool of tears). That way she’d look all official, and everything, as we board our next flight together.


As part of that kit I’d also get a letter stating that my fragile emotional and/or mental state requires that Bella be allowed to fly with me (for free) and that she be allowed to stay in a hotel with me (again, for free) despite any rules prohibiting pets in rooms. As an extra added bonus that letter would allow her to live with me even if decide to move into a building, apartment, condo complex or other facility that has a strict no pets policy.

And to get all that all I would have to do would be to answer a few simple questions online. Oh, sure, I’d have to lie. I’d have to say that my emotional state is so chaotic that I simply can’t go anywhere without my dear Bella. I might even have to make up a story about some tragedy in my life in recent years that made me so emotionally unstable that I can’t cope with life unless Bella is at my side.

But there’s nothing to worry about. It’s not like anybody’s going to read my answers and evaluate whether I actually NEED an Emotional Support Animal when I travel. Matter of fact, it’s very doubtful that anybody will take any steps to check out whether my answers and my story are true.

I won’t even have to visit a shrink, a psychologist, a certified counselor, or even my own personal physician to prove anything. If I tell them online that I’m emotionally unstable, they’ll just take my word for it. And it won’t go on any official records. So my claim of emotional instability can never be used against me when it comes time to renew my driver’s license, when I apply for a government security clearance, or when I go in for my annual performance review. Those folks will never know that I once feigned instability so I could travel with my dog.

So, as a result, by Saturday I could have Bella certified as an ESA. No training (for her, or me) necessary. And that would allow me to impose my loveable but huge, drooling dog on you and the anywhere from 100 to 400 others aboard your flight.

Now, from a strict legal perspective Bella’s “Certificate,” the letter I would carry around explaining that I need her when I travel, and all the accouterments that would come in her super cool ESA kit, are meaningless. They’re bogus; as legit as the drivers license a 15-year-old uses when he tries to buy beer at the convenience store. But 99 times out of 100, it’ll work.

According to an obscure – and very poorly drafted – federal law a person must have a very specific diagnosis from a mental health expert to earn the right to fly commercially with Emotional Support Animal. But the law doesn’t define who such an “expert” is, what medical procedures must be followed, or what mental health protocols must be exercised for such a diagnosis to be made. Nor does the law set out any standards for what an ESA actually does to help such a person, how such an animal is to be trained, or even that the animal needs to be trained at all.

Heck, the law doesn’t even define what KIND of animal qualifies to serve as an ESA. Dogs are common. But so are cats (which is weird because we all know that cats couldn’t care less about people’s “feelings”). Also being used these days as ESAs are exotic birds, pot-bellied pigs, ducks, small monkeys, and several kinds of mild-mannered exotic animals (note: airlines likely will balk at accepting your pet tiger as an ESA). There’s even been at least one widely reported case of a passenger boarding with a miniature horse serving as their ESA. Thankfully, to their credit, airlines do draw the line at snakes, rodents, spiders and certain other unsavory little varmints.

So why do airlines allow this blatant and widespread abuse of an arguably well-intentioned but inarguably poorly-written and seldom-enforced law?

[lawren2 Malibu Beach Barbie & A Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close lawren2]

The best explanation is that airlines and their employees really don’t like having play the role of the bad cop against their passengers. If an airline customer service agent or flight attendant does ask for your ESA documents – and it’s pretty rare that they do – don’t panic. In nearly every case they’ll glance at the letterhead, and maybe the top line of the document before waving you through. To be sure, there are a few well-known stories of people being denied boarding (or denied the use of a hotel room) because their ESA documents are laughably inadequate under the actual law. But those stories are notable only because they’re so rare.

Airline employees – like hotel clerks and even most landlords – don’t want the hassle of challenging and, potentially arguing with customers. It’s bad for their own emotional well-being. Nor do their corporate overlords want them challenging and potentially arguing with customers. It’s bad for business. And it quickly can turn into a public relations nightmare if some enterprising reporter with a camera decides to become an advocate for the disrupted traveler and his or her Emotional Support Animal. Sob stories always draw big audiences and, increasingly these days, go viral on social media. No business wants to the be the subject of that kind of “national dialogue.”

Given the current level of political correctness and the level of emotional immaturity that runs rampant in this nation, it’s also reasonable to assume that airline managers and employees alike are fearful of being branded as uncaring, un-enlightened or even bigoted. So, when confronted with situations in which travelers are obviously gaming the system in order to travel with their pets in the passenger cabin for free, they punt. By doing so, lots of other passengers are negatively impacted. But there’s a lot less chance that any of them will call the Eyewitness News and offer to cry on the late local newscast (crying in a news report is a sure-bet ratings grabber).

Solid numbers are very hard to come by. But there are suggestions that more than 100,000 animals a year fly in the passenger cabins of U.S. airliners. Who knows if that is over- or understated? In any case, only a tiny fraction of the more than 25 million commercial flights each year in this nation operate with an animal in the passenger cabin. Still, if you assume that the average flight has 150 passengers, and then 100,000 or so flights annually have a live animal in the cabin, the result is that around 15 million travelers a year in this country are forced to fly with someone else’s animal aboard. If the animal defecates, they have to smell it, and step over it. If it barks, or bays, or crows, or oinks, or neighs, or makes any other noise, they lose sleep or are distracted from their conversations, their work or their books. If the animal is on their row, their already very limited personal space is reduced even further. And if they happen to be allergic to pet dander – or just even irrationally fearful of dogs or certain other animals – well, that’s their problem.

However you want to calculate it, that’s a whole lot of imposition, especially when it’s so clear that a man using a guide dog can see that the system is being gamed.

Only a small percentage of those 100,000 or so flying animals are truly necessary to their owners’ ability to travel. In fact, it’s those people who really do need a guide dog, or a personal assistance animal because of some significant disability or condition who are being hurt the most by the abuse of the law allowing Emotional Support Animals to fly with their owners. In the minds of upset travelers, passengers who have a legitimate need for an assistance animal are being lumped in with all the selfish fakers who are abusing the system.


And the big risk is that as more and more travelers get fed up with all the animals flying in passenger cabins, the more likely the pendulum will swing too far the other way, making it far more difficult or even impossible for people with a real need for an assist animal to travel with one.

To put an end, hopefully, to the abuse of the vaguely written law that the Department of Transportation began interpreting very broadly in the 1990’s, out-going Secretary of Transportation Anthony Foxx last year formed an Access Advisory Committee. The committee, made up of airline industry officials and advocates for Emotional Support Animals flying, were asked to negotiate a compromise. Predictably, after months of fruitless discussions the committee members gave up in October.

Seeking to put a positive spin on the failed effort, Foxx suggested that valuable information and understandings came from the talks. And, he said, the DOT still could use that information and insight to issue a new interpretation that would rein in, to some degree, the abuse of the law allowing Emotional Support Animals on flights.

But here we are, just over two weeks before Foxx, like the rest of the Obama Administration, leaves office, and no such rule has been issued and there’s no indication that one is about to be announced. Nor does anyone know whether Secretary of Transportation-designee Elaine Chao has any knowledge of, interest in or intent to act on the subject.

So don’t hold your breath. Or, on second thought, if you get stuck on a flight with a stinky ESA dog, do hold your breath.

[JLB Please excuse me, I'm a Dick. Not a moron just a Dick Find all posts View Profile Close JLB]

Readers' Digest version next month . . . .

[easyrider Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close easyrider]

Good one Lawren .

A couple of years ago at a Worldmark Resort a person brought their young dog and claimed it was a support dog in training. They had some kind of docs so the dog was allowed to stay. What a load of bs. It barked, ran on the beach and generally did what dogs do, including peeing on every thing. After many owners complained to this person directly she took the dog elsewhere.

I really doubt that I would share my limited space on an airplane with a dog. I have enough problems sharing my area with fat people. Fat people that can't fit into their seat is my peeve. I usually ask them to sit elsewhere and will complain to them and the attendants the entire time they are overflowing into my area. If a person can't fit into the cheap seats they should fly first class, imo.

[tonyg Goomba & Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close tonyg]

There is a similar problem at timeshares where people are trying to get their dogs in with them, often lying about emotional assistance.

[ronparise Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ronparise]

I dont fly very often. but I just returned home Florida) from a trip to California. I was surprised to see as many dogs as I did in the airport. I thought I would be the exception

I have a letter from a shrink and my dog is an old and mellow girl 16 years old and about 17 lbs, I suppose we could have flown coach, but didnt because even at just 17 lbs she is to big to go in a bag under the seat, and like the guy in the article Im not a little guy and one knee dosent bend enough to fit in the middle or window seat.. I need to be on the right side of the plane do my left foot can be in the aisle. So coach is an ordeal for me. We flew first class and planned our flight early enough to get a seats in the first row so no one in front of us. There was enough room on the floor that we put down a jacket (brought for this purpose) and she laid on it for the whole flights I was prepared with pee-pee- pads and diapers but didnt need them. She held it for the 8 hours or so we were in airports and in the air

EZPZ

[rikkis_playpen Diamond Club Contributor Find all posts View Profile Close rikkis_playpen]

The service company can be sued...

So why do airlines allow this blatant and widespread abuse of an arguably well-intentioned but inarguably poorly-written and seldom-enforced law?

Even asking for validation can result in a lawsuit.

One of my past jobs was to oversee compliance issues for the brokerages I supervised (the company I worked for owned several real estate brokerages). When the business was purchased by an even larger REIT, I was handed a large pile of "consent decrees" that had been accumulated over the years from lawsuits at their various resorts and campgrounds. Some of those documents were almost unbelievable (one dealt with claims of rabid squirrels).

One related to this same issue. An employee at a campground refused admittance to a guest for a park model rental that had a strict "no pets" policy. The guest had claimed their large dog was a service animal, but was not able to provide any documentation to validate the claim. That guest filed a complaint with the ADA, and the government promptly took legal action (I wish that timeshare fraud cases moved that quickly). The end result was a large fine, payments to cover the governments legal costs, and a consent decree promising that ALL employees would be trained that under NO circumstances would they be allowed to even question a service animal claim. They were not allowed to ask for validation, nor could they charge any type of added pet deposit or cleaning fee. Doing so would be grounds for an even larger financial penalty.

[JLB Please excuse me, I'm a Dick. Not a moron just a Dick Find all posts View Profile Close JLB]

Life is full of living with things you can't do anything about. Well, other than tweet or post it on the Internet somewhere.

It appears that will be the case going forward.

[M. Henley Class President Find all posts View Profile Close M. Henley]

Readers' Digest version next month . . . .

That's Executive Summary JLB.

[JLB Please excuse me, I'm a Dick. Not a moron just a Dick Find all posts View Profile Close JLB]

So, do people complain about your service pig?

[tonyg Goomba & Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close tonyg]

The last time someone complained, Arnold ate their dog.

[M. Henley Class President Find all posts View Profile Close M. Henley]

So, do people complain about your service pig?

Only once...