Originally posted by JLB
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When things go to crap
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My first thoughts in the days prior to my heart attack was why didn't I go the hospital right away. I really didn't think that I was having a heart attack but I knew I was in pain. I could have made it to the hospital in about 120 minutes after the heart attack. 30 hours later there isn't much than can be done to save heart muscle.
Then I wondered if I missed my time and place. I was in a beautiful area doing something I really enjoy. I often hear things like "he passed doing what he enjoyed" like its a good thing.
Yesterday I was a bit bummed out. The mail came and I received a card from a friend. In it she flat out told me I have been given a second chance so don't waste it. After pondering the second chance and many of your posts, I am actually feeling very grateful to be alive and very very thankful for my wife, family, friend's and foe's.
Thanks
Bill
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You are going through the stages of grief, even though no one passed (thankfully). As you process this huge life event, and the changes you may have to make, you will settle in to a " new normal", as your life will never be quite the same. It's good that you can now be grateful for you blessings; it seems as though you have many. Best wishes for an uneventful recovery. Do your docs want you to go to cardiac rehab?Jacki
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Did you see a bright light?
Did you flash back to a happy memory?RCI Member Since 24-Aug-1989/150-plus Exchanges***THE TIMESHARE GRIM REAPER~~~Exchanging/Searching/SW Florida/MO/AR/IA/Consumer Advocacy/Estate Planning/Sports/Boating/Fishing/Golf/Lake-living/Retirement****Sometimes ya just gotta be a dick
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Originally posted by jackio View PostYou are going through the stages of grief, even though no one passed (thankfully). As you process this huge life event, and the changes you may have to make, you will settle in to a " new normal", as your life will never be quite the same. It's good that you can now be grateful for you blessings; it seems as though you have many. Best wishes for an uneventful recovery. Do your docs want you to go to cardiac rehab?
I think they will do some sort of rehab or allow me to do my own but I'm not sure. At 58, I hope to do rehab and recover.
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Originally posted by easyrider View PostMy next ekg is this next week. I'm not allowed to do anything until the cath plug heals. As I read the summary I am understanding that I will have hypokinisis in four areas of my lower heart muscle. Even with the heart attack it looks like I was pumping in the lower end of normal.
I think they will do some sort of rehab or allow me to do my own but I'm not sure. At 58, I hope to do rehab and recover.Jacki
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Originally posted by JLB View PostDid you see a bright light?
Did you flash back to a happy memory?
My wife stayed in my room in the ACU sleeping on a cool fold out bed chair. This really helped me in terms of feeling normal as a person could considering the situation. I told her to go home but the most she ever left for was about two hours to go home and clean up and have a decent meal.
I did think of my mom who passed when I was 9. It was comforting .
I realized that I wasn't really afraid of dying but more afraid to leave my family so soon. Other random thoughts were I don't think I really want my remains tossed into the river anymore. My wife said that wasn't happening anyway. Dying while doing something you love is ok I guess but dying with someone you love near by seems a far better goal. When a Priest shows up to give you last rites your likely closer to check out than you think. I told Father M that I was fine and I actually meant it. I told the cardiologist I was heading home and I meant it. They did keep me in the acu for an extra 36 hours for reasons other than they really liked me.
After reading the posts and reflecting on them I think I made it through the 5 steps of grief. Steve's post was the turning point to acceptance and Stan's post was the one that made me realize that my situation is not so terribly bad.
Thank you, every one of you.
Bill
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I'm kind of new to the entire taking it real easy thing but that is what the doctors said I have to do. So I'm going to just take it very easy. I guess rehab is next. They are setting it up for next week. I'm going to have to help my heart a bit by losing some weight. If all keeps going well, and I really feel it is going that direction each day, the doctors said I could resume my physical activities like motorsports, scuba and hard work eventually.
Meanwhile, my buddy is the only guy going to see Joya at the Vindanta property. I guy, 7 women. He got them all to hop onto the bed, with him in the middle, for a picture. He is all smiles. lol
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Ok, I am 6 1/2 weeks out from my heart attack and Monday at rehab a 91 year old lady told me I was looking better. I smiled and said thanks. Later that evening my wife, daughter in law and son told me I have my color back. I guess I turned grayish after the heart attack and now I can see what they saw, I have a bit of color returning.
I am now a Pescatarian and only eat fish about two or three times a week. I have been doing the rehab and am now walking 3 miles on the treadmill at a small incline. I have to keep my heart rate about 135 max and am learning how to do this. I have lost about 8 pounds. I want to loose about 30 more putting me back at my early twenties weight. The downside is I still have the pericarditis that freaks me out at times and I am not allowed to lift heavy objects yet.
I did sell the snowmobile that I was riding on the heart attack day, Friday the 13th, go figure. Should have stayed home, maybe.
So basically, I think I am recovering.
Bill
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