Tweet
New Alphabet for Mature Audiences
THE OLD ALPHABET :
A is for Apple and B is for Boat,
That used to be right, But now it won't float!
Age before Beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.
THE NEW ALPHABET :
Now A's for arthritis; B's the bad back,
C is for chest pains, perhaps cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H is for high blood pressure - I'd rather it be low;
I is for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next
N is for neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that won't grow!
P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill and I'm as good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless night, counting my fears,
T is for tinnitus, there are bells in my ears!
U is for urinary, big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's dizzy, you know.
W is for worry, now what's going around?
X is for x-ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year for a new illness for me to find,
Z is for zest that I still have - in my mind!
I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
and I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed!
A is for Apple and B is for Boat,
That used to be right, But now it won't float!
Age before Beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.
THE NEW ALPHABET :
Now A's for arthritis; B's the bad back,
C is for chest pains, perhaps cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H is for high blood pressure - I'd rather it be low;
I is for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next
N is for neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that won't grow!
P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill and I'm as good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless night, counting my fears,
T is for tinnitus, there are bells in my ears!
U is for urinary, big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's dizzy, you know.
W is for worry, now what's going around?
X is for x-ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year for a new illness for me to find,
Z is for zest that I still have - in my mind!
I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
and I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed!
Comment