Unconfigured Ad Widget

Collapse

Unconfigured Ad Widget

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Why read the jokes? :-D Well, Jokes are Fun

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Why read the jokes? :-D Well, Jokes are Fun

    This explains why we forward jokes.

    A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the
    scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

    He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for
    years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

    After a while, they came to a high, white stonewall along one side of the
    road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was
    broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

    When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that
    looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked
    like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got
    closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

    When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

    "This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

    "Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

    "Of course, sir. Come right in. I'll have some ice water brought right up."

    The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

    "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler
    asked.

    "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

    The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and
    continued the way he had been going with his dog.

    After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a
    dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been
    closed. There was no fence.

    As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and
    reading a book.

    "Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"

    "Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."

    "How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

    "There should be a bowl by the pump."

    They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned
    hand pump with a bowl beside it.

    The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink, then gave some to the dog.

    When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was
    standing by the tree.

    "What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

    "This is Heaven," he answered.

    "Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said
    that was Heaven, too."

    "Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope.
    That's hell."

    "Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

    "No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their
    best friends behind."

    Soooo...Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us
    without writing a word. Maybe this will explain. When you are very busy, but
    still want to keep in touch, guess what you do?

    You forward jokes.

    When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward
    jokes.

    When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how,
    you forward jokes.

    Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still
    important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?

    A forwarded joke.

    So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just
    another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your
    friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

    You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime!


    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    Now... don't deprive yourself of a smile or two. Click on over to the Post a Joke thread.
    Robert

  • #2
    I enjoy reading the jokes here and I love the photos I receive of the cutest animal pictures. I am sure every animal lover gets them as we have our special list for that.

    Comment


    • #3
      Nice. Thanks.
      Syd

      Comment


      • #4
        Thanks, Robert
        AKA "Mimi" from Toms River, NJ on TUG

        Check out our vacation photos:
        http://picasaweb.google.com/arlineandlou

        Comment


        • #5
          Men do remember anniversaries

          A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.

          "What's the matter dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

          "Do you remember when I met you and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car, making love?" "Yes, I remember" says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues... "Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?" "I remember that too" she replies softly.

          He wipes another tear from his cheek and says..."I would have gotten out today."
          AKA "Mimi" from Toms River, NJ on TUG

          Check out our vacation photos:
          http://picasaweb.google.com/arlineandlou

          Comment


          • #6
            Robert, very good explanation. I knew there were good reasons.
            ken H.,Ballston Lake, NY
            My photo website: www.kenharperphotos.com
            Wyndham Atlantic City, NJ 8/7-8/14/14
            Australia-New Zealand 10/15-11/2/14 (some TS some hotels)

            Comment


            • #7
              I love it! I could be out in a year!

              Comment


              • #8
                Wife From Hell

                A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked
                you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

                The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps
                your radar gun needs calibrating."

                Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly
                dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

                As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his
                wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

                The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your
                radar detector went off when it did."

                As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar
                detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched
                teeth, "Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

                The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your
                seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

                The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took
                it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my
                back pocket."

                The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have
                your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

                And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver
                turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

                The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always
                talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

                I love this part....wait for it..







                "Only when he's been drinking."
                AKA "Mimi" from Toms River, NJ on TUG

                Check out our vacation photos:
                http://picasaweb.google.com/arlineandlou

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by RESORT2ME View Post
                  This explains why we forward jokes.

                  ....

                  Now... don't deprive yourself of a smile or two. Click on over to the Post a Joke thread.
                  That's what I thought. . . I attempted to bring attention to the Post a Joke thread and it made for jokes being posted here.

                  My post was actually the STICKY at the top of Post a Joke. I was only trying to bring attention to why we should appreciate jokes.
                  Robert

                  Comment

                  Working...
                  X