I have dreaded this day for 17 years.

[T. R. Oglodyte Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close T. R. Oglodyte]

One of the things that all cultures do is develop rituals to deal with stressful and signifcant events in life - e.g, weddings, births, deaths, sickness, graduations, etc.

Looking back at my life, I see clearly several significant occasions for which we are lacking ritual. One of those was the first time I saw one of my children backing a car down the driveway and driving away, without my wife or I providing supervision. I remember that moment at least as clearly as the first time I held him in my arms after his birth.

****

A bit later he scraped the side of the car on one of the carport posts when he was pulling into the carport - did about $800 damage to the side panels. While he had been learning to drive, I was continually "reminding" him about making square turns, and not slicing the corner off of his turns. So he was very concerned that I was going to be upset.

I didn't raise my voice at all. I merely told him that he was lucky, because it could just as easily have been a pedestrian or bicyclist instead of a carport post. He made his contribution to fixing the car, but more importantly he learned th lesson about making square turns.

[jackio Gold Contributor Find all posts View Profile Close jackio]

[QUOTE=T. R. Oglodyte;131792]One of the things that all cultures do is develop rituals to deal with stressful and signifcant events in life - e.g, weddings, births, deaths, sickness, graduations, etc.

Looking back at my life, I see clearly several significant occasions for which we are lacking ritual. One of those was the first time I saw one of my children backing a car down the driveway and driving away, without my wife or I providing supervision. I remember that moment at least as clearly as the first time I held him in my arms after his birth.


Now that brings a tear to my eye. It is so true... It goes so fast, one day they are a baby and the next day they're all grown up (or think they are). But they will always be our babies...

[Glitter Brunello Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close Glitter Brunello]

Frank, he will be ok, he seems like a very levelheaded young man.

At least he'll be ok until my 12 year old hits the streets...

[IreneLF Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close IreneLF]

Frank,
As soon as I saw the title of the thread I was sure it was about driving. I remember seeing you two on the news clip not that long ago.

I am with you in spirit, my son Dan turns 16 this weekend and will be behind the wheel soon enough (too soon for me but what can you do?)

You just have to know that you and Jackie have given him enough guidance and smarts over the years, and count on him to do the right thing in any situation. I'm sure he know he can always count on you no matter what.

It was touching to think of you with kleenex, the Big Guy with the Big Heart )
Deep breaths, it will be fine (yes easy for me to say as Dan doesn't have his permit yet. Just wait, I will be a basket case.... but what can you do? When the time comes, it comes and we all have to deal with it.)

[davhu1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close davhu1]

Today is a day I have waited for that I did not want to happen but knew one day it would. Today is a day that I have had fear full dreams about and wished never happened. Today is the day my Son is now able to drive legally in NY.

Did he get his permit or license? My son got his permit last year and I put off behind the wheel until this month. Wanted him to drive with me in the car as much as possible. Drove by himself the first time last week. Insurance went up $1100, more than what we used to pay for three cars.

I guess we have to let go sooner or later.

Remind him what to do in case of accident, so he does not get bullied and accept blame (like they tried to do to me on Queens Blvd).

[T. R. Oglodyte Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close T. R. Oglodyte]

Did he get his permit or license? My son got his permit last year and I put off behind the wheel until this month. Wanted him to drive with me in the car as much as possible. Drove by himself the first time last week.

My Dad started teaching me to drive when I was about 10 or 12 years old. I never got behind the wheel until I had my permit, but that's when he started talking to me about driving and asking me questions about what the appropriate action was for different circumstances.

So when I got my permit, he was very comfortable - at least as comfortable as he could be - with having me driving with him beside me. And in the classroom portion of Drivers Ed, it was clear that I was way ahead of almost everyone else in the class. But when I was ready to get my license, he and I fought about whether I had enough time behind the wheel.

[mshatty Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close mshatty]

In Texas you can do a parent certified driver's ed course. I did this with my son. The process took several months with him having to do a lot of driving with me or his mom. My daughter did a 6 week driver's ed course. She was not nearly as prepared to jump into the free world of driving as my son was.

The difference to me was I KNEW what my son was good at and needed help with. With my daughter, I had no idea. She was very very reluctant to get on the highways and drive. My son and I had had a lot of practice sessions on highways.

If you can do a parent taught course, and can live through it , I highly recommend it.

[riverdees05 Platinum Contributor Find all posts View Profile Close riverdees05]

Rules

A few rules that I had,

1. Seat Belts, Seat Belts, Seat Belts for the driver and all the passagers. No one allowed to ride in the car without wearing the 'Belt'.
2. At first only allowed one passager - more than one can be a major distraction for a new driver.
3. Always keep us informed on your plans and changes in plans. This should be easy today with cell phones. Also, if they had had cell phones then, no using the cell phones while driving.
4. Police are always right - Mom & Dad do not pay for tickets, plus you are grounded till further notice.
5. If you have an accident, call Dad immediately!
6. Dad knows what you are doing, have eyes all over the place - with friends, relatives, etc., so don't try to pull something over on me.
7. Don't give me, 'Everyone else is doing it', I don't care.

I am sure there are others that folks will add.

[Emily Member Find all posts View Profile Close Emily]

Congratulations on your sons birthday.

Frank, its a big milestone , but I am sure you will be able to continue to help him make good choices in the things he should choose to do and not to do.

Emily

[m61376 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close m61376]

I'm chuckling, only because my kids are a few years older. I don't think it will help to tell you that I still have a bit of angst when my younger daughter is home from school and out with her friends driving (and she's halfway-actually almost 2/3rd's way throguh law school...so I certainly understand the worrying). The positive side is that you know your son, you know the rules you've set down, you know what kind of car/safety features he's driving and you know his driving skills, and that since you're a concerned parent, I would venture to guess you've given him good instruction. I always preferred my daughters to be the driver. I was confident they would be sober, knew they were in a safe car and knew they had a lot of driving experience in all sorts of weather, on all roads, day and night. better for them to be behind the wheel then a passenger in a friend's car, many of whom only went on highways during driver's ed.

You'll appreciate this perhaps- a few months ago one of my closest friends was bemoaning schlepping her 15 year old son here, there and everywhere. She told me that a friend of hers told her to wait two years and it will be so much easier because he'll be driving. She actually believed that was so. I told her it was the funniest comments I had heard in a long time- that I'd like her to tell me that in 2 years from now.

[bigfrank Administrator Find all posts View Profile Close bigfrank]

He took the car out yesterday with his Grandmother. I was watching him going up the block. I no longer have nails as I bit them off. I think he is still very nervous. He has done well in Drivers Ed and seems to be doing well driving. I just do not feel he is ready. I now am recalling my first days behind the wheel. I knocked down 1 Telephone poll in the first month. Then totaled my first used but new to me 63 dodge dart with Push button transmission. I hit the divider with no one around.
It is just plain scary out here driving in NY. He still has not driven by himself (not sure if he ever will ). I am not sure when that day will come.

[nell Member Find all posts View Profile Close nell]

My DD starting driving last summer. The pit in my stomach every time she goes out is finally getting a little smaller. I think the biggest thing I tried to get through to her is that people are not always going to do what they are "supposed" to do and don't assume that they will. The fact that not being at fault will not be of much comfort if you're in the hospital or worse, or that some child is in the hospital or worse because that child was not "supposed" to run out in the street.

Jonelle

[T. R. Oglodyte Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close T. R. Oglodyte]

My DD starting driving last summer. The pit in my stomach every time she goes out is finally getting a little smaller. I think the biggest thing I tried to get through to her is that people are not always going to do what they are "supposed" to do and don't assume that they will. The fact that not being at fault will not be of much comfort if you're in the hospital or worse, or that some child is in the hospital or worse because that child was not "supposed" to run out in the street.

Jonelle

My father often commented that being dead right isn't that important.

[tennisWalt Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close tennisWalt]

I'm glad I did not know about this at the time.

I don't know if I should tell you about this, but maybe it is better to know just how young 17 is.

My son, who now is a lawyer and over 40, told us about the time, when he was 17, that he and his friends were stopped for "Van Surfing" by the police.

Thank God nothing happen to him. We first heard about it 5 years ago. I'm glad I did not know about it at the time. Sell your RVs and Vans.

And now we also have "You Tube" around to give the kids ideas too.

What is Van surfing?

YouTube - Surfing the Van

Walt

[bigfrank Administrator Find all posts View Profile Close bigfrank]

I don't know if I should tell you about this, but maybe it is better to know just how young 17 is.

My son, who now is a lawyer and over 40, told us about the time, when he was 17, that he and his friends were stopped for "Van Surfing" by the police.

Thank God nothing happen to him. We first heard about it 5 years ago. I'm glad I did not know about it at the time. Sell your RVs and Vans.

And now we also have "You Tube" around to give the kids ideas too.

What is Van surfing?

YouTube - Surfing the Van

Walt

That is sick. That is worst than doing the shoe sking on the buses in the winter. They grab a hold of the bus bumper and have the bus pull them on the street over the snow and ice. If you slip off you get run over by the car behind you. And to top it off, The bus driver has no idea that you were even there.