Why Men Are Never Depressed

[riverdees05 Platinum Contributor Find all posts View Profile Close riverdees05]

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

[T. R. Oglodyte Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close T. R. Oglodyte]

Yep. Plus we can belch anytime and the only embarrassment is if the belch isn't loud enough.

[Sydney Contributor - Bronze Find all posts View Profile Close Sydney]

If men are so much happier, why do more men commit suicide than women?

[Joe L Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Joe L]

Probabbly beacause most suicides are done with guns and more men than women have guns.

[Sydney Contributor - Bronze Find all posts View Profile Close Sydney]

Actually, studies show that if women really want to do the deed, they are just as efficient as men.

[vintner Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close vintner]

Nice entertaining post sure went to hell fast.

[4ARedOctober Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close 4ARedOctober]

Because women are too worried how they will look when they are found.....men don't care.

Life is good.

If men are so much happier, why do more men commit suicide than women?

[mshatty Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close mshatty]

If men are so much happier, why do more men commit suicide than women?

For the answer to this question, please see this thread.

[lawren2 Malibu Beach Barbie & A Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close lawren2]

Because women are too worried how they will look when they are found.....men don't care.

Life is good.

Now THAT is funny and I haven't found much laughable here lately.

[lawren2 Malibu Beach Barbie & A Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close lawren2]

For the answer to this question, please see this thread.

and that was a corollary.

[Sydney Contributor - Bronze Find all posts View Profile Close Sydney]

Nice entertaining post sure went to hell fast.

Sorry.

Because women are too worried how they will look when they are found.....men don't care.

Life is good.

[janapur Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close janapur]

I was going to say because women are worried more about who will care for the children. Unfair comment perhaps, but that maternal instinct is pretty strong.

On a lighter note . . . LOVED the OP!! You must know my husband. He's never lost a minute of sleep.

Jana

[Sydney Contributor - Bronze Find all posts View Profile Close Sydney]

I was going to say because women are worried more about who will care for the children. Unfair comment perhaps, but that maternal instinct is pretty strong.

On a lighter note . . . LOVED the OP!! You must know my husband. He's never lost a minute of sleep.

Jana

That's because he leaves it to you to lose sleep.

Studies show that married men are happier and live longer, while married women die younger and are less happy.

Where do I get these studies I keep quoting, you ask? Google of course.

You can find a study that says anything you want via google.

[janapur Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close janapur]

That's because he leaves it to you to lose sleep.

Studies show that married men are happier and live longer, while married women die younger and are less happy.

Where do I get these studies I keep quoting, you ask? Google of course.

You can find a study that says anything you want via google.

Thank you for posting this info. I have never understood the saying that married people are happier, men yes, but not my female friends nor moms of my kids' friends.

I have a girlfriend that announced in her next life, she'd be a lesbian. Not for the sex, just to have a wife. Women seem to care of each other better, have you had a houseful of sick family members, including mom? Mom can't get sick in my house.

[idahodude Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close idahodude]

If men are so much happier, why do more men commit suicide than women?

Not that it matters, but studies have shown that women ATTEMPT suicide at a higher rate than men, but men are more "Successful" at suicide attempts. This is assumed to be because men tend to choose more violent means, whereas women tend to choose overdoses (and then don't take enough or the right stuff).