The tears are falling

[bigfrank Administrator Find all posts View Profile Close bigfrank]

Well it is time for my one and only son to go off to collage. We are dropping him off tomorrow and hopefully we will get to see him again in 2 weeks. Both myself and my wife have had tears all week but my wife right now let it out with our friends that are also sending there boys off. Just about everyone had the tears running down. I know how bad it is going to be in the morning.

[taffy19 Gold Contributor Find all posts View Profile Close taffy19]

Poor Frank. It will get better as it always does for most parents. Once he graduates, you will be so pround. Cry your heart out as it is good for the soul and you can deal with it better afterwards.

I can talk as I have no kids so have never gone through it. It must be tough and especially if you are a close family which you seem to be. Take care.

Emmy

[btcctomtb Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close btcctomtb]

Through the tears you must be so very proud..... Which college and which major?

[bigfrank Administrator Find all posts View Profile Close bigfrank]

Through the tears you must be so very proud..... Which college and which major?

He is going to Stevens institute of technology majoring in Computer Science/Engineering.

He just came down and you could tell from his eyes he himself had a bad cry and I am sure my wife was his crying parther.
He helped me take down the outside TV which I am giving him for his dorm. I only just got that set a month ago but it is perfect for his dorm. The good part is that I undrsized the first time so now I can get a bigger set for outside.

[LisaH Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close LisaH]

Frank, we are in the same situation. My older son is going off to college next Friday. You should count yourself lucky, at least Stevens is not too far away from home.

[riverdees05 Platinum Contributor Find all posts View Profile Close riverdees05]

I remember when I took # 1 daughter off to school and dropper her off. It was hard, but part of life and raising children. Now with cell phones, email, etc. it is easy to keep in contact. Also, since he is close, you can drop in and see him on the weekend. Just give him plenty of s

[bigfrank Administrator Find all posts View Profile Close bigfrank]

WAKING HIM UP THIS MORNING WAS AWFUL , We must have gone threw a box of Kleenex. It is pretty bad here this morning in fact I can just barely see the screen.

[joycapecod Silver Contributor Find all posts View Profile Close joycapecod]

Oh Frank, I know what you are feeling. My baby (now 27) went to Northeastern University and tho only in Boston it is a 70 mile drive each way. He was home most weekends until he "settled" in. He hated the food; he hated the apartment; he wasn't thrilled with one of his roommates and he essentially wanted to commute every day from home. After a few weeks he settled in and things were fine. One the other hand we were finally able to deep clean his room and give it a real sprucing up.

It was difficult sending him off, but it is a stage of growth and we were all better for it. Had we allowed the daily commute I feel he would not be as independent as he has become.

It's always difficult, but at least he's not going to be across the country at Northern Arizona University, or UCLA and you will see him often. You will be amazed at his personal growth when you again have him home for Thanksgiving (not that he won't be home before then).

Joy

[lawren2 Malibu Beach Barbie & A Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close lawren2]

Oh Frank I know how very close all 3 of you are... this is gonna be tough.

[Sydney Contributor - Bronze Find all posts View Profile Close Sydney]

That's so sweet how close your family is.

When my kids go, they'll still be living at home.

[pcgirl54 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close pcgirl54]

Big Frank,
I remember dropping off all of them. It is hard indeed. Our last of three sons graduated this year. Ten years of college and tuitions later here's a little advice.

I cried on and off when the oldest son was a senior in HS knowing he was leaving even though the college of choice was 1 hour away. It hit my husband much later at orientation a few weeks before he left and he was pretty upset. The middle son's college was 14 hours away and that was pretty hard too. I did not want to leave. The last son went to school locally after party central at another college.

Thank goodness for IM and email IF they respond....... If not call the school and they will make sure it happens. New friends and a new life who can blame them. Very exciting time.

They will not always be in a good mood so be warned now. Push and pull of separation and becoming their own person without us.

My very best advice is to all parents who are dropping off their sons and daughters in the next few weeks is to "call before you visit".

Do not have them leave clothes in the dryer in the dorms. Clothes get stolen and in our case nice new clean towels.

Bring a few tools, lightbulbs,double sided tape and extension cords for move in day. And oh yes our sons et us know they did not want us to help them unpack at all. They wanted to arrange it themselves. Only one student in the dorm let the parents help so don't be insulted if this happens.

Freshman fall semester is an adjustment for most. No one is there to make them go to class, study or watch the alcohol consumption.

The nice part is we get to see the results of all those parenting years as they begin to make decisions on their own. You likely will not agree with all of their decisions. They still need us as guides and for extra money.

You begin to get used to the quiet and enjoy being a couple then they come home with the chaos and at times "don't tell me what to do" tone. A very wise mother of three told parents this at BC orientation and she was so right.

No matter what the meal plan is boys need more $$ for food. Boys often use the girls meal cards at the end of the semester which for the most part has funds left. I heard this from male students over and over. Good idea for them to work in the cafeteria for an extra meal.

Some will change majors, hate roommates and have other issues adjusting. Just be there to listen while they work it out. If they are still having issues after Thankgiving then do get assistance from student services on campus.

It is a wonderful time of their lives and ours as we grow with them and the new path they are on. I enjoyed listening to them when they came home. All our sons are still in touch with college buddies and bring them home to visit during the holidays. Nice to hear what they learned post college too!

[IreneLF Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close IreneLF]

Aw Frank I feel so bad for all 3 of you right now. It's nice that you are all so close.
(I have the opposite problem. I believe mine will never leave home.)

[GrayFal Silver Contributor and supermoderator Find all posts View Profile Close GrayFal]

You have gotten some wonderful support and advice here. You have a terrific son and must be so proud of the man he has become.

None of which will make today any easier.....but look at this thread in a few weeks when things have settled down.

Best of luck 'little BF' - and to Frank and DW

[happymum Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close happymum]

Hugs to all three of you.
My firstborn is coming home today after his first year of college (and a work term) . We are all SO excited.

[funtime2 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close funtime2]

Let us know how you weather the rainstorm (crying). I guess it is time I get a low dose of help so I will not be so emotional next year we my son sets sail on his own at college....