You just might be....

[JoAnn Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JoAnn]

Dear Katie Mack, I will keep you, your family and your sister in my prayers. I do know what you are going through because we lived with our son's drinking for about 40 years . Thank God he quit 4 years ago and has not even been temped to drink any thing alcoholic since then..

Our son lived in Las Vegas for about 7 years and then he drank and gambled and ended up living in the desert in a beat up old trailer. Then he came home and moved to FLorida. Four years ago he got very sick and ended up in the hospital with pancreatitis(?). The Drs. told him if he didn't quit he would die. He walked out of the hospital after a week and gave up drinking.

But I suggest for you, Katie, that if you haven't done it...join Al-Anon. It helped me so much and I thanked the friend that took me to many meetings. I learned to leave Dave alone and not to change him. IN the meantime I did a lot of praying.

[pranas Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close pranas]

Katiemack, hope things start turning around soon.

[Carolinian Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close Carolinian]

Katiemack, I hope that things will work out for your family. You will be missed here, but family does come first.

[pkyorkbeach Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close pkyorkbeach]

Keep your positive attitude..you will be in everyone's thoughts. Good Luck.

[taffy19 Gold Contributor Find all posts View Profile Close taffy19]

This is heart breaking, katiemack. I wished we could help you help this person but she will have to want to first of all. You have done all you can.

I hope that you will not stay away.

Well, it has been quite a while since I have posted anything. Some may be wondering why.

Life has been happening for everyone. I just read some thread headlines, and can see that times have offered challenges as well as celebrations for so many of this group of TS lovers. I am sorry for the health challenges, the losses, the life changes. I am happy for the celebrations and the successes.

I probably won't be able to rejoin this great group of folks here on the board. Some of the challenges of our life right now do not make room for TS events or conversations.

We are still helping my sister through a very rough time after having lost her home, the bulk of her income and her health to the violent greed of this era. She is managing to stay alive and keep just her nose out of the water, and we are awaiting further developments as she keeps facing bad events.

And then there is the stress of someone who wants to destroy themselves with no help from these bad times. So, in a way of saying hello and goodbye to all of you, here is a peek into what has been giving us another challenge, and if you read on you just might recognize someone you know, or perhaps, may have to ask yourself: is this me too?

The following is addressed to a person, who is loved by the parent, the sister, the brother, the husband, or the wife, the child, or the step-relation.

"You want to know why we are fighting so hard to get you to sober up. Why we repeat over and over, you need help. You complain that we are stressing you out, that you don't have a problem, that you are not an alcoholic, you can stop any time.

The facts are these: you cannot, you have not, you will not.

You drink to hide. You drink to "sleep" better. You drink to avoid true human contact.

You tell us "it is my life, and I will live it my way."

You tell us to leave you alone.


You tell us that if you want to hurt yourself, we can't stop you.

The list of silly utterances goes on and on.

You think we want you to stop because of us. That this is our need.
Or that it is a way to control your life.

You think we want you to stop because we don't understand you.

None of these is true.

We want you to stop because you will be dead or kill someone soon.

We don't want you to stop for us.

It isn't for you. It is for the innocent person who will be devastated when you take one drink too many and drive.

Or when you take one drink too many and fall into a trap where another person harms you beyond recognition.

We don't care what you call us, when we refuse you money. We don't care how many times you curse us out, or tell us that we should stop telling you to get to AA. We don't care how we have disappointed you because we refuse to play the game you want.

We know you don't care about us, because we can see that you just don't care about you.

It is not for us that we want you to stop drinking....nor any longer is it for you. We are sad, for you are supposed to reach out and in to that beauty that is in you, the beauty that many have seen and now mourn its loss; and you cannot see anything under the vaporous fumes of vodka or beer or wine...or whatever you are currently drinking.

You had a family....you lost your family....you had a career....you lost your career....you are older, but you are not wiser. You gamble every time you drink, and you have lost over and over, and yet you tell us that you "enjoy drinking." You are almost proud at how much you can drink and still fool people into thinking you are sober....the only fool in the room is you.

Drink doesn't care who it takes to an early grave...it is not your loving friend. It is not your buddy. It is that which has taken your youth and turned you into an haggard face, a gaunt body. It is that which laughs when you enter the hospital in emaciated state.

Drink will laugh at your graveside. And it will be alone there, for we will not stand over that self-made grave and cry tears....our tears have dried up, while we have begged you to dry out.

Drink and be merry....if that is merriment, be sure to look in the mirror....see who is laughing."