My New Livin Will ~~

[The Conch Man Past Goumba President & BigFrank's Cigar Buddy! Find all posts View Profile Close The Conch Man]

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, don't wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it. Nor in the hands of lawyers/doctors who are interested simply in running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Crown Reserve on the Rocks,
Bloody Mary,
Margarita,
Scotch on the Rocks,
Martini,
Vodka and Tonic,
Steak, lobster or crab legs,
The remote control,
Bowl of ice cream,
The sports page,
Chocolate,
or Sex ~~


...it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

At this point, it's time to call a New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.


Signature: ___________________________

Date: ___________________________

[JudyS Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JudyS]

Wait, aren't you going to put "a vacation" in that list of things you should ask for?

I'm a non-drinking vegetarian who doesn't follow sports, so if the list doesn't include "a trip to Disney World," "a swim in a deluxe pool," or "yet another timeshare," then I'd be in danger of premature burial!

In general, great living will, though! I mean there's living, and then there's living. Definitely agree that many of the politicians don't understand high-school biology, too.

[Arkansas Winger Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Arkansas Winger]

I can think of a couple of things I would want added, but all in all a pretty good living will

[bigfrank Administrator Find all posts View Profile Close bigfrank]

Scotch ans Soda. Why would you ruin a good Scotch by adding soda. Straight up or like I drink it on the rocks.

[tonyg Goomba & Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close tonyg]

The better the scotch the less the need for rocks.

[Ryne08 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ryne08]

You forgot to add DNR unless you have scotch and soda by your bedsize three times per day.