Worst Pop Lyric of all Time

[Beaglemom3 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Beaglemom3]

I have a hard time imagining any woman having the slightest interest in Hawkins if she had actually listened to his lyrics.

Apparently you haven't met the Goumbettes !

[Beaglemom3 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Beaglemom3]

And who can forget "Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through the Goal Posts of Life"?

Love it. I didn't know anyone else knew that one ! How 'bout, "Thank God and Greyhound she's gone " and these unforgettable C & W tunes (real ones, yes, sirreee):

Real Country-Western Song Titles
I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight

She's Looking Better After Every Beer

I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

I Ain't Gone To Bed With No Ugly Women, But I Shore Woke Up With A Few

I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here (already noted )

You Were Only A Splinter In My Ass As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life

Please Bypass This Heart

You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat

She's Actin' Single and I'm Drinkin' Doubles

Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life (duly noted)

If I'd Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of The Pen By Now

Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better

Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too




How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me

I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

I Wanna Whip Your Cow

I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!

I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy

I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life

If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You

If The Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me

Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus

My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart

My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him

Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You

She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft; She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone


You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
Dog Poop On The Pillow Where Your Sweet Head Used To Be

I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We're Even

I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well

[Beaglemom3 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Beaglemom3]

If I posted the lyrics it would have to be in the Steam Room.

I doubt that you will find them on-line. There are three of them on the "Somethin' Funny Goin' On" album, about 16 bars long each. They're not listed in the discography but inserted between tracks.

Oh, seems that we've got lots of company.............. just Google Screamin Jay Hawkins+discography.
Be afraid. Be very afraid...............

[T. R. Oglodyte Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close T. R. Oglodyte]

Love it. I didn't know anyone else knew that one ! How 'bout, "Thank God and Greyhound she's gone " ?

On the table of your love I got the brushoff.

In the elevator of your dreams I go the shaft.

I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart.

snippets from a song on the Johnny Cash "Love at Folsom Prison album. The entire song is composed of similar types of lines.

[I-DE-HO Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close I-DE-HO]

Dylan

I can't believe no one hasn't mentioned my hero, Bob Dylan. He had some winners!! Here's a line from "Stuck inside of Mobile with the Memphis blues again":

Mona tried to tell me
To stay away from the train line.
She said that all the railroad men
Just drink up your blood like wine.
An' I said, "Oh, I didn't know that,
But then again, there's only one I've met
An' he just smoked my eyelids
An' punched my cigarette."



Phil

[Glitter Brunello Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close Glitter Brunello]

Beags,

Your list has me in stitches. Good therapy.

[14thMed Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close 14thMed]

Nobody listed this one so I will. "Abraham, Martin and John." is my nominee for the absolute worst Al

[timeos2 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close timeos2]

Now here's a deep lyric that made millions!

Someone's knocking at the door
Somebody's ringin the bell
Someone'e knockin at the door
Somebody's ringin the bell

Do me a favor
Open the door, and let em in.

This may be the true winner of worst as it's from an artist who once was one of the very best. What a fall.

[T. R. Oglodyte Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close T. R. Oglodyte]

Apparently you haven't met the Goumbettes !

Weren't the Goumbettes one of those 1960's "girl groups"? Didn't they sing back up on "Leader of the Pack"?

[JudyS Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JudyS]

Nobody listed this one so I will. "Abraham, Martin and John." is my nominee for the absolute worst Al

I actually like that song quite a lot-- the lyrics, the melody, and its theme. However, the first line ("Has anybody here seen my old friend Abraham?") doesn't scan well.

[Beaglemom3 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Beaglemom3]

Weren't the Goumbettes one of those 1960's "girl groups"? Didn't they sing back up on "Leader of the Pack"?

Close, we're often mixed up with the "Shangri-Las".

Another bad pop song was this parody:



LEADER OF THE LAUNDROMAT
(parody of the Shangri-las' Leader Of the Pack)
The Detergents & Ron Dante - 1964


Is he really goin' out with `er? I don't know. Look, here he comes
now. Let's ask `im.
Hey, Murray, is it true Betty's wearin' your ring? Uh-huh.
Who's that bangin' on the piano? I don't know. You goin' out with
her tonight? You bet yer fur. By the way, where'd ya meet her?

I met her one day at the Laundromat.
She turned around and smiled at me, ya get the picture? Yes, we see.
And that's when I fell in love with the Leader Of the Laundromat

My folks were always putting her down (down, down)
Because her laundry came back brown (brown, brown)
I don't care if they think she's bad
I fell in love cuz she looked so sad
I got a date tonight with the Leader Of the Laundromat

Dang it!!

My dad said "Find a laundry that's new" (find a laundry that's new)
How can I tell my baby we're through (tell my baby we're through)
Gotta drive right into town
I don't care if my shirts are brown
I got a date tonight with the Leader Of the Laundromat

Dang it!!

When I finally got there, I told her it was all over between us.
I'll never forget the hurt and the funny look in her eye.
She grabbed my laundry and ran into the street,
directly into the path of a runaway garbage truck. I yelled "watch
out !, watch out !,
watch out !, watch out !, watch ou-u-t ! "

Dang ..............

I felt so messy standing there (messy standing there)
My daddy's shorts were everywhere (daddy's shorts were everywhere)
Tenderly I kissed her goodbye
Picked up my clothes, they were finally dry
But I won't forget you, oh Leader Of the Laundromat

(oh-oh-oh-oh)
(ooh--ooh—ooh—ooh)

Who's that bangin' on the piano?
I don't know.