Traveling w groups/expectations?

[shaggy Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close shaggy]

I'm starting this topic as it got started over on travel tales over a statement that basically was one wanted to be more active and the others wanted to lay around the pool and basically relax. It sounded like some lack of communication and some feelings got hurt (JMHO)

I have traveled with groups several times (mostly tuggers) and quickly learned if there was something I really, really wanted to do I'd organize it and invite whoever wanted to come to join in. That's what I did with Capt Marvin & Stingray City. It was a delightful trip and the highlight for most of us. I got a lot of thanks upon which I answered, I was just being selfish, I really wanted to do this and hoped a lot would join in.

I went to Boston one year with Kathy Q and it ended up being a LOV group and was fun, altho I was sick as the devil. I really wanted to go to the Boston aquarium and the others wanted to go shopping. ( I rarely go shopping on vacation) so I went alone, ate at Legal Seafood & did the aquarium . I enjoyed it but I would have enjoyed it more had I had someone else to talk to. I really don't like going one way and everyone else going another but I will do it if I think it's something I don't want to miss.

It's really hard to find a perfect traveling partner if you really don't know them. I do try to find out what others want to do when I'm making my plans. shaggy

[3kids4me Super Moderator and Super Mom Find all posts View Profile Close 3kids4me]

I haven't had the pleasure of traveling with the LOVs, although having met many of them, I look forward to doing so.

My opinion on traveling in this manner, is that you should be prepared to operate as if you are traveling alone, and if someone joins you, then that is an extra treat! No one should ever expect anyone else to do what they want to do, although it would be fun to have some plans in advance together!

Sharon

[Keitht Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close Keitht]

The largest group I have travelled as part of is 5 and I wouldn't want to do that again in a hurry. We had a 3 bedroom apartment which certainly suited our needs, but one of the group was a real night owl and didn't go to bed until about 3 in the morning. In fairness to the person they did try to be quiet, but their 'quiet' was something akin to a baby elephant wearing hob-nailed boots!
We also had one person who insisted on planning everything for the following day like a military operation. "We'll just spend some time on the beach" wasn't detailed enough. They literally expected to know when we would go down and when we would leave the beach! A decision to do something they didn't fancy resulted in a day spoilt for everybody else as they would huff and puff through the day, always wanting to move on.
These were people we had known for years, and thought we knew well. They had stayed with us and we had stayed with them many times in the UK but only for long weekends. 2 weeks in a foreign country was a different matter entirely.
As things had always been so relaxed 'at home' it hadn't occurred to us that any ground rules would be required. That was a huge mistake as it turned out.

[Kay H Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kay H]

I answered this on the other thread. If a moderator wants to or can move it here it is ok with me but it can be left in the other thread . Either way, my opinion is the same.

[CatLovers Member Find all posts View Profile Close CatLovers]

Have a "ground rules" list

Several years ago I put together (with the help of several TUGgers OY) a "ground rules" list. We give it in advance to all the people we invite to join us on our timeshare vacations. I get a lot of good-natured "ribbing" over it, but I tell you, I think it's saved us scads of misunderstandings and disappointments. My goal was to make sure that our friends were still our friends after our vacation together, and we've accomplished that. I'd be happy to share that list with anyone here. Please PM or e-mail me. I am on the road with only a laptop, and the list is somewhere on my desktop, so I will have to get it to you later on this week.

[LisaH Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close LisaH]

I would love to have the list!

I agree with 3kids4me. When we go on vacation with friends and relatives, we always make sure that nobody is obligated to do anything that they don't want to do. If they would like to join us for a particular activity, they are welcome. If they want to go somewhere when we just want to relax at the resort, then by all means go. We usually rent our own cars so nobody will be stranded.

But I think having a "ground rules" list will help everyone to understand it better before deciding to vacation together.

[LynnW Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close LynnW]

I would also like to see the list of ground rules. We had good friends join us last year in Palm Springs for 5 days and we didn't really discuss what we were going to do except for some golf. We had been in Arizona the week before and they had already been in Palm Springs for a few days before we arrived. We arrived on Sat and found out this was what they had planned for us. Golf on Sun with other friends followed by cocktails at their friends house and then out for dinner. Shopping on Mon at the factory outlets and then on to Anaheim for a hockey game as the Calgary Flames were playing the Ducks and they had purchased tickets before leaving home. A 2 hour drive in rush hour traffic and not quite so long getting back. Golf again on both Tues and Wed with both sets of friends and 2 more dinners out. Luckily they left on Thurs so we had some time to relax. I was exhausted! They don't travel as much as we do so I know they were trying to fit in as much as possible in a short time. We like to do things as well but sometimes it's nice to have a break in between!

Lynn

[Sydney Contributor - Bronze Find all posts View Profile Close Sydney]

Several years ago I put together (with the help of several TUGgers OY) a "ground rules" list. We give it in advance to all the people we invite to join us on our timeshare vacations. I get a lot of good-natured "ribbing" over it, but I tell you, I think it's saved us scads of misunderstandings and disappointments. My goal was to make sure that our friends were still our friends after our vacation together, and we've accomplished that. I'd be happy to share that list with anyone here. Please PM or e-mail me. I am on the road with only a laptop, and the list is somewhere on my desktop, so I will have to get it to you later on this week.

Would you be happy to post the list here once you have access to your desktop? I'm sure it'll be very handy for future reference and for many more people than those who have posted in this thread.

[Sydney Contributor - Bronze Find all posts View Profile Close Sydney]

Some people desperately need to relax during a holiday. Afterall, that's the only time they have off. It's not fair on those who have had so much going on in their day to day lives to go away and then have to worry about being more active than they should just to make sure others don't get upset at them.

I think the way Shaggy handles things is very wise. If there's something she really wants to do, then she organises it herself and if others want to join her, then all the merrier, and if not, then she goes on her own.

We generally do the mid-level amount of activities. We like to do a few things but not usually something every day as need to relax a bit also. We find we really need to be careful about over-exhaustion. We have gone away with family and friends many times. It's a give and take and everyone knows that they're free to go their own way and no one feels obligated to accept any suggestion and keep anyone else occupied/entertained. People need to be responsible for their own enjoyment and take ownership of their holiday.

[Pat H Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Pat H]

Kay H and I have traveled together 3 times and we never had a problem getting along. She gets up early and I get up late but we still enjoyed ourselves. The first trip, it was only the 2 of us so we didn't have someone else to pal around with. I had no complaints at all.

I always tell people that I invite on LOV trips that there are a couple of things they need to know. One is that everyone is free to do or not to do whatever they want. No one should feel pressured to do something they don't want to do or can't afford. The other is that everyone needs to be considerate of their roommates and clean up after themselves. I think it's a good thing if you all get together for dinner at the end of the day. I've been on 5 LOV trips. Enjoyed each and every one.

[Linda74 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Linda74]

What is LOV?
And, would love the list, as we are traveling with friends in December. We went to Malta with them and two other couples in 2002 and it did get a little uncomfortable sometimes. We are just back from Prague with our adult children. There, we would frequently split up by couple, for a few hours to do what ever people wanted...shop, sightsee, have drinks. That worked well. This couple who are joining us are what I call "dependent" travelers. They rely on me to make all the plans and won't go off on their own. But...later, if they did not like the restaurant or whatever, you hear about it....

[mshatty Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close mshatty]

LOV= Ladies on Vacation

[GrayFal Silver Contributor and supermoderator Find all posts View Profile Close GrayFal]

We frequently travel with friends....and it is the unwritten rule that everyone can do their own thing.
One older friend basically spends his day reading on his veranda and joins us for dinner.
People do tours, take hikes, go to the beach, book excursions....it has always worked out.

I have recently traveled with some work friends and one was kinda 'high maintenance' - I would hesitate to travel with this particular person again as they needed to be 'entertained' - if I want to relax in the evening in front of the TV surfing the net after a full day of touring, I think I should be able to do that.

[Kay H Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kay H]

The other is that everyone needs to be considerate of their roommates and clean up after themselves.

Gee Pat, I don't remember you telling me that I need to clean up after myself. I guess I'm lucky I was invited back again.

[GrayFal Silver Contributor and supermoderator Find all posts View Profile Close GrayFal]

Gee Pat, I don't remember you telling me that I need to clean up after myself. I guess I'm lucky I was invited back again.

Obviously you are not a piggie traveler