Opinions please -- 17 year old DS wants to spring break alone

[Beaglemom3 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Beaglemom3]

Absolutely not, from a legal view and a safety view.

You have to be "cruel" to be "kind".

[lawren2 Malibu Beach Barbie & A Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close lawren2]

Absolutely not, from a legal view and a safety view.

You have to be "cruel" to be "kind".

ahhhh

Nick Lowe! YUMMY!
YouTube - Nick Lowe - Cruel To Be Kind

[3kids4me Super Moderator and Super Mom Find all posts View Profile Close 3kids4me]

My son will be 17 next month.

The first thing I would do is call the other parents and see if what he says is true.

The second thing I would do is not let him go. I'm only suggesting that you call the other parents because I'm sure you will find others that feel the same way you do, and that will make it a little easier for you to say no.

Good luck sticking to your guns.

[Dms1709 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dms1709]

I have raised three children, two girls and a boy, the last one just recently graduated college, and every time I let them do something I knew in my heart was wrong, it came back to bite me and sometimes them. If it feels wrong, it probably is, if it feel right, then give the okay. It is not easy being the bad guy. But like a song I just heard a 17yr old " can't see past Friday night".

Donna

[shaggy Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close shaggy]

I also say NO. Last year I witnessed a wreck from a bunch of kids going to spring break in Myrtle Beach. It was raining and they hydroplained. I was first on the scene and called 911. I followed them to the hospital and made the calls to their parents. It was a tough day, but I would have wanted the same if it were Kelli. Even tho the hospital had called it was a relief to their parents to talk to me and their children. You could tell that all these children came from good homes. Anything can happen. It made my heart feel good when I got to the hospital there was a whole waiting room of teenagers waiting to see how there friends were. I didn't realize they had a whole caravan. It's hard to let go, I'm certainly not one to give that kind of advice. shaggy

[IreneLF Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close IreneLF]

No way and I say this as a mother of a soon to be 18 y.o. and a 16 y.o.

And, IMO, nothing changes when they turn the magical age of 18.

[tonyg Goomba & Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close tonyg]

Another "nay" vote.

[Spence Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close Spence]

Fake IDs are rampant... in fact I accidentally discovered one just the other day...

I'm sorry, even with your fake ID, you won't pass for 55+ to get the free coffee with your Denny's Grand Slam.

I'm just not ready for this.....

[jgirvine Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jgirvine]

My kids used to get so mad at me. I would say no, they would say no fair. I would then look at them with big eyes, grab them by the shoulders and ask them, "tell me, tell me, tell me who lied to you, I will get them, I will beat them, I will tie them to the railroad track. To have the nerve to LIE to my baby and tell you that LIFE IS FAIR." The kids would roll their eyes at me, but they got the point.

[dale7 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dale7]

No.
When we were young we always found some one to buy alcohol for us were ever we were. If they get in trouble guess who has to go get him out of jail and pay any damages if all the rest have no money.

[mikey0531 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mikey0531]

Do you know the other parents? Have you checked as to whether they did say yes, or no? That shouldn't change your mind, but sometimes when challenged you'll find that you are not the only one who said "No".

I kind of know one of the parents -- but don't really care for her -- my son thinks she's "so cool" -- he hasn't really pressed on further regarding the issue -- but, I kind of think they're all trying to pull fast ones on us -- knowing the other kids, I just cannot imagine they're being allowed -- with all the truth being revealed, anyways. I may just ask him for phone numbers just to see what kind of reaction I get. Many times, this ends all conversations

Debi

[mikey0531 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mikey0531]

Thank you all for your feedback. I don't feel so much like the worst parent on the planet (his opinion). I just needed to hear from others who hopefully felt the same as me. thank you very much. You guys are great.

I really do think that deep down inside, he believes that I just want to keep him safe. He usually is relentless. This issue has kind just died for the moment and he's being quite pleasant -- for a teenager that is.

Thanks again,
Debi

[Keitht Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close Keitht]

I often feel that parents in the US have great difficulty accepting that their kids are becoming adults. I've seen posts where parents are worrying about leaving 20 somethings at home alone, or holidaying alone, and that is a mindset I just don't understand.
Here I'm absolutely in the 'No' camp, but mainly for a reason that I haven't seen anybody else raise so far. Your son is the youngest of the group and therefore the natural target for pranks and dares from the older members of the group. Also, as the youngest, he is more likely to respond to the dares because he wants the approval of the older members. All his friends are probably decent kids, but when a pack mentality forms it's almost inevitable that the weakest i.e. youngest will be the one on the receiving end.

[joycapecod Silver Contributor Find all posts View Profile Close joycapecod]

Keitht makes a very good point; his being the youngest in the group could open all kinds of dares and other mischief. Not knowing the group it is difficult to gauge, but having been the youngest in my graduating class I can remember (back from the dark ages) that I was always shooting for approval. It was a gentler time, but the pranks and dares were still there and I was more easily lead, being the youngest and seeking approval from my peers. We didn't have the types of technology or means back then, but stupid stuff is still stupid stuff and he could get hurt or worse.....

[pcgirl54 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close pcgirl54]

Don't wait to get the phone numbers get them and call the other parents. My best guess is that you are not alone and another parent would be glad to find out they are not alone.

"Mom don't you know that everyone is going except for me because you are too strict and ridiculous. When I have children I am going to let them do..." If I had a dime for everytime I heard one of my 3 sons say this I could have redone my kitchen.

I used to do this with high school birthday parties and I am telling you the parents were not always going to be home to supervise. Teens will find a way to get alcohol even with good caring parents at home.

In New England we do not do the high school spring break thing. When we went to Panama City resort owners told us this is quite common.

I cannot even believe any hotel would want to rent to under 21 or 25 for obvious reasons.

17 or 18 in high school the answer is "no". One year later prepare yourself for the I am in college argument. Still scary and they are quite creative.

Tell your son I understand why you want to go with your friends but as a parent I love you enough to say no !!!!

There is just so much that can go wrong even with chaperones.

Keith and Bnoble make good points.