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Not sure if this is where I should post this..but feel free to move if necessary....Some of you already know what has been occurring in my life, but others may be wondering why I have not posted lately so I feel you deserve an explanation as sad as it is.....but please no sympathy..just prayers. 
This is certainly my hardest post in my life......
I am sorry I have not written sooner, but tests, DR's etc. have consumed my life now. Oh boy I really rather be on the other side as a nurse than patient LOL.
The biopsy ( some knew of this pending test already) I am sorry to tell you is positive, I have Breast cancer. Mike ( hubby) was able to get an emergency flight from Boston to Mexico so he arrived on wednesday. On tuesday I had a Cat Scan of my lungs and abdomen etc. Pretty scary even for a nurse I must say. I was scheduled for a bone scan on weds. but the machine at the facility was broken so that had to be postponed. WE met with my regular Dr. thurs. and fortunately my lungs, and abdomen and all organs are clear, that is good news. We spent rest of day running around making sure my insurance etc. covers all this as we have already laid out thousands of dollars in tests, again good news, we will be reimbursed for all, and my insurance covers me totally in full, private room, private hospital.
Friday, we met with oncologist surgeon.....heavy, heavy sigh......( He comes highly recommended by my insurance agent, many people in my area , along with my skin DR, who deals with skin cancer and other such issues and my primary care DR. ) I felt comfortable with him, and he is knowlegeable, compassionate etc. We are of course scared out of our minds as I am sure many of you know. The oncologist and we have decided on an plan, a very aggressive one, but it is mutual aggreement with us all.
He is admitting me to hospital this coming thursday ( May 7) with surgery scheduled for friday. Mike will be able to stay with me the whole time in my room. He ( the oncologist) feels the tumor is small, and there is high probability I have caught it early. He originally had me scheduled for lumpectomy and node biopsy on thursday but after much, conversation, going over statistics etc. The plan is thursday morning admission , bone scan at hospital, it is the best hospital in Guadalajara for this type of health issue, along with the fact I know it and am comfortable with that hospital, (Angeles del Carmen is the name)and his office is in a tower just right next door, like connected.
At present I do have one slightly swollen lymph node...so the plan of treatment after surgery will depend on what this shows, as far as chemo etc. go........The oncologist says he will not know till he gets in surgery but the swelling of this node could be from the biopsy, so we can only hope.
My friends on T/S Forum....I am having a bilateral skin sparring mastectomy on friday..... I feel I want my breasts off, as at this point they are my enemy. The Cancer is in my right breast but I have had a lump in my left breast for many years but thus far it has been nothing.....believe me this decision has been well thought out by me, Mike and the oncologist surgeon. Before the node biopsy at this point my odds of non-reoccurence, and survival, etc....is 80% with lumpectomy or single mastectomy, with bilateral mastectomy it increases to 85%. I need to go with the best odds......I am okay with it, I can do without my small breasts which they tell me may actually have saved my life, as if I had been bigger it may have been much longer before I found this lump etc. along with my right nipple is completely changed.
Much to my surprise the oncologist says he is doing the skin saving bilateral mastectomy as he feels reconstruction can be begun asap as well....Mike nor I really cared about that, but the oncologist says it is possible for you and your insurance will cover it and I have thus far good feelings ( the oncologist words) that this is early stage so I will come out of surgery with skin expanders in place........and also a portacath for chemo, which unless the nodes show up bad, will be short term and low dose, so we are hoping for that.....so I get to have breasts per say anyway.........LOL....
There is also an issue with my thyroid , which concerns them.....very long story but I have hypothyroidism controlled at present but the control unfortunately was finally reached with mediacation and haha,,,no lie, continued smoking.........the oncologist assures me my breast cancer has no relation to my smoking but of course, need to stop now before who knows I have Cancer elsewhere, so oncologist told me, listen it is only a few days more and I do not feel you need any more stress so smoke away but thursday morning is quit day....and we will monitor that thyroid very closely ( when all my thyroid issues occurred about 5 years ago when I quit smoking, I was in such bad shape and ill health, and still getting around barely, the Dr's were astonished as my thyroid was at levels where I should have been in coma. No one believes this but it is true and they are researching around the world in regards to this as there are very few with this sort of issue.....anyway.......at least know they know of this issue now so will monitor it very closely.....just creates another complication.....someday I 'll tell you whole story about this...
The oncologist gave me sleeping pills...ha they do nothing...LOL. He also gave me a pill for real as he said blue feelings, or deep depression for now.....They are immediate acting he said but make you eat like a pig...LOL I have not taken that yet. I am also on a low dose tamoxifen ( chemo) at present orally 20mg.....to hopefully begin to maybe shrink tumor and keep it intact till friday. fortunately I gained 7 pounds in last month or so....and now in just less than 2 weeks have lost 5 pounds due to stress.......I think when all this is over I might be a skelton.....LOL.....a Bezerk skelton...
On thursday they will do bone scan and then the plastic surgeon will meet with me and friday morning...will be the surgery....I am fortunate as he the oncologist has made it a priority for me to be his only patient that day so I have him all to myself......
Of course we are all over the planet with our emotions and I am totally petrified....I am a total chicken in regards to surgery.....the oncologist told me, assurred me , he will keep me as pain free as possible. And I will have a private nurse, my insurance covers that in private hospitals, so she will make sure I am well medicated....LOL.....I just might become bilingual afterall, the Dr's of course speak English, but the nurses well some do some do not......
Sorry for all the typos, too lazy to fix...
Pray for us my timeshare friends, this is doing a number on my family as I sure you know.........but though this chemo med is making me a bit itchy and achy, slight nausea, nothing else so far......and though I am petrified........I ready to fight right now........I am praying for God to give me strength.....and to give Mike strength......and to help my sons deal with all this......ugh!!! An for my poor parents to make it thru this, they are devasted......my dad also needs surgery and he went and cancelled, hernia surgery but he is just beyond himself. I am so worried about him at his age to have to watch this in his daughter.
That is about all I can handle writing now........so I will try to get back online soon......You are all in a place in my head every minute as an inspiration.........So if you have thoughts of me on friday know it cause you are in my head, walking me thru what was supposed to be a vacation to Acapulco and Ixtapa but no....instead hospital , surgery, chemo and well a whole new world.
I have to tell you I am pretty pissed, on Monday ( tomorrow) we have to, no Mike has to call our two timeshares, one we are members in Ixtapa and hope they will credit us or let us come another time, fingers crossed, and the other is an RCI exchange so we'll see what happens with those. It is not really the money, just the disappointment of going on a vacation to the World of Cancer, surgery, chemo and all instead of to Acapulco and Ixtapa.......................
I will be in touch when I can .........I continue to pray for you all daily, ( I know many of you have already been in this world I am headed into) and you are my inspiration, so know that not only should you be proud of yourself but you are already helping others, me, in going thru this as I call it damn Cancer world!!!!
My friends, I found this lump on Easter Sunday. I won the lottery this week, needed a good luck charm, thank you! Please all you woman do your breast checks, your mammograms and routine DR. visits, I was vigilant and it may have saved my life or increased my odds anyway. Check yourself now!!!
I won't be around for awhile so here is what I ask, no tears, just prayers, lots of prayers for me and my family and also for all the others dealing with similar issues!
On friday, it would mean a lot to me if you could toast me with your favorite drink, no matter what it may be.....It will be a sign to help me make it thru surgery........My friends, take care, stay healthy, vacation happy, treasure every moment and well I shall be back, but in the meantime I will be thinking and missing you all.
Vaya con Dios ( Go with God).........bezerk will be back posting....just might be some time......to the lotto players hey you better keep playing.....cause when I come back I am going to win a lot
This is not goodbye but just until later.....Hasta pronto.......
This is certainly my hardest post in my life......I am sorry I have not written sooner, but tests, DR's etc. have consumed my life now. Oh boy I really rather be on the other side as a nurse than patient LOL.
The biopsy ( some knew of this pending test already) I am sorry to tell you is positive, I have Breast cancer. Mike ( hubby) was able to get an emergency flight from Boston to Mexico so he arrived on wednesday. On tuesday I had a Cat Scan of my lungs and abdomen etc. Pretty scary even for a nurse I must say. I was scheduled for a bone scan on weds. but the machine at the facility was broken so that had to be postponed. WE met with my regular Dr. thurs. and fortunately my lungs, and abdomen and all organs are clear, that is good news. We spent rest of day running around making sure my insurance etc. covers all this as we have already laid out thousands of dollars in tests, again good news, we will be reimbursed for all, and my insurance covers me totally in full, private room, private hospital.
Friday, we met with oncologist surgeon.....heavy, heavy sigh......( He comes highly recommended by my insurance agent, many people in my area , along with my skin DR, who deals with skin cancer and other such issues and my primary care DR. ) I felt comfortable with him, and he is knowlegeable, compassionate etc. We are of course scared out of our minds as I am sure many of you know. The oncologist and we have decided on an plan, a very aggressive one, but it is mutual aggreement with us all.
He is admitting me to hospital this coming thursday ( May 7) with surgery scheduled for friday. Mike will be able to stay with me the whole time in my room. He ( the oncologist) feels the tumor is small, and there is high probability I have caught it early. He originally had me scheduled for lumpectomy and node biopsy on thursday but after much, conversation, going over statistics etc. The plan is thursday morning admission , bone scan at hospital, it is the best hospital in Guadalajara for this type of health issue, along with the fact I know it and am comfortable with that hospital, (Angeles del Carmen is the name)and his office is in a tower just right next door, like connected.
At present I do have one slightly swollen lymph node...so the plan of treatment after surgery will depend on what this shows, as far as chemo etc. go........The oncologist says he will not know till he gets in surgery but the swelling of this node could be from the biopsy, so we can only hope.
My friends on T/S Forum....I am having a bilateral skin sparring mastectomy on friday..... I feel I want my breasts off, as at this point they are my enemy. The Cancer is in my right breast but I have had a lump in my left breast for many years but thus far it has been nothing.....believe me this decision has been well thought out by me, Mike and the oncologist surgeon. Before the node biopsy at this point my odds of non-reoccurence, and survival, etc....is 80% with lumpectomy or single mastectomy, with bilateral mastectomy it increases to 85%. I need to go with the best odds......I am okay with it, I can do without my small breasts which they tell me may actually have saved my life, as if I had been bigger it may have been much longer before I found this lump etc. along with my right nipple is completely changed.
Much to my surprise the oncologist says he is doing the skin saving bilateral mastectomy as he feels reconstruction can be begun asap as well....Mike nor I really cared about that, but the oncologist says it is possible for you and your insurance will cover it and I have thus far good feelings ( the oncologist words) that this is early stage so I will come out of surgery with skin expanders in place........and also a portacath for chemo, which unless the nodes show up bad, will be short term and low dose, so we are hoping for that.....so I get to have breasts per say anyway.........LOL....
There is also an issue with my thyroid , which concerns them.....very long story but I have hypothyroidism controlled at present but the control unfortunately was finally reached with mediacation and haha,,,no lie, continued smoking.........the oncologist assures me my breast cancer has no relation to my smoking but of course, need to stop now before who knows I have Cancer elsewhere, so oncologist told me, listen it is only a few days more and I do not feel you need any more stress so smoke away but thursday morning is quit day....and we will monitor that thyroid very closely ( when all my thyroid issues occurred about 5 years ago when I quit smoking, I was in such bad shape and ill health, and still getting around barely, the Dr's were astonished as my thyroid was at levels where I should have been in coma. No one believes this but it is true and they are researching around the world in regards to this as there are very few with this sort of issue.....anyway.......at least know they know of this issue now so will monitor it very closely.....just creates another complication.....someday I 'll tell you whole story about this...
The oncologist gave me sleeping pills...ha they do nothing...LOL. He also gave me a pill for real as he said blue feelings, or deep depression for now.....They are immediate acting he said but make you eat like a pig...LOL I have not taken that yet. I am also on a low dose tamoxifen ( chemo) at present orally 20mg.....to hopefully begin to maybe shrink tumor and keep it intact till friday. fortunately I gained 7 pounds in last month or so....and now in just less than 2 weeks have lost 5 pounds due to stress.......I think when all this is over I might be a skelton.....LOL.....a Bezerk skelton...
On thursday they will do bone scan and then the plastic surgeon will meet with me and friday morning...will be the surgery....I am fortunate as he the oncologist has made it a priority for me to be his only patient that day so I have him all to myself......
Of course we are all over the planet with our emotions and I am totally petrified....I am a total chicken in regards to surgery.....the oncologist told me, assurred me , he will keep me as pain free as possible. And I will have a private nurse, my insurance covers that in private hospitals, so she will make sure I am well medicated....LOL.....I just might become bilingual afterall, the Dr's of course speak English, but the nurses well some do some do not......
Sorry for all the typos, too lazy to fix...
Pray for us my timeshare friends, this is doing a number on my family as I sure you know.........but though this chemo med is making me a bit itchy and achy, slight nausea, nothing else so far......and though I am petrified........I ready to fight right now........I am praying for God to give me strength.....and to give Mike strength......and to help my sons deal with all this......ugh!!! An for my poor parents to make it thru this, they are devasted......my dad also needs surgery and he went and cancelled, hernia surgery but he is just beyond himself. I am so worried about him at his age to have to watch this in his daughter.
That is about all I can handle writing now........so I will try to get back online soon......You are all in a place in my head every minute as an inspiration.........So if you have thoughts of me on friday know it cause you are in my head, walking me thru what was supposed to be a vacation to Acapulco and Ixtapa but no....instead hospital , surgery, chemo and well a whole new world.
I have to tell you I am pretty pissed, on Monday ( tomorrow) we have to, no Mike has to call our two timeshares, one we are members in Ixtapa and hope they will credit us or let us come another time, fingers crossed, and the other is an RCI exchange so we'll see what happens with those. It is not really the money, just the disappointment of going on a vacation to the World of Cancer, surgery, chemo and all instead of to Acapulco and Ixtapa.......................
I will be in touch when I can .........I continue to pray for you all daily, ( I know many of you have already been in this world I am headed into) and you are my inspiration, so know that not only should you be proud of yourself but you are already helping others, me, in going thru this as I call it damn Cancer world!!!!
My friends, I found this lump on Easter Sunday. I won the lottery this week, needed a good luck charm, thank you! Please all you woman do your breast checks, your mammograms and routine DR. visits, I was vigilant and it may have saved my life or increased my odds anyway. Check yourself now!!!
I won't be around for awhile so here is what I ask, no tears, just prayers, lots of prayers for me and my family and also for all the others dealing with similar issues!
On friday, it would mean a lot to me if you could toast me with your favorite drink, no matter what it may be.....It will be a sign to help me make it thru surgery........My friends, take care, stay healthy, vacation happy, treasure every moment and well I shall be back, but in the meantime I will be thinking and missing you all.
Vaya con Dios ( Go with God).........bezerk will be back posting....just might be some time......to the lotto players hey you better keep playing.....cause when I come back I am going to win a lot
This is not goodbye but just until later.....Hasta pronto.......
Now that I am addicted, I will most certainly keep playing lotto.
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