The Tiger Woods Joke Thread

[T. R. Oglodyte Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close T. R. Oglodyte]

A thread for your favorite Tiger Woods humor items.

*****

Gatorade is dropping the "Tiger Focus" drink, but KFC is stepping right up with a new "Tiger Chicken" menu item. White meat only.

[kapish Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close kapish]

A few I found on FB

• Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between an iron and a wood.
  
  
• What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
  
  
• What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing
  
  
• Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one
  
  
• I always said golf was a dangerous game...all this happened because Tiger picked up another birdie.
  
  
• Tiger teed off the Misses by getting caught with his club and balls in the wrong bunker.
  
  
• This was Tigers shortest drive of the year.

[Kay H Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kay H]

Kapish,
Not only are they all good, but I hadn't heard any of them before.

[IreneLF Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close IreneLF]

Tiger Wood can't control his putts.

[Icc5 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Icc5]

Putter

Tiger is just lucky she didn't break his putter.

When this is all said and done will Tiger have played 18 holes?

[T. R. Oglodyte Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close T. R. Oglodyte]

Now we know that Tiger's favorite hole is the second of Augusta.

[T. R. Oglodyte Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close T. R. Oglodyte]

Woods canceled three meetings with police and took almost a week to post an apology on his website. Which is odd, normally it doesn’t take Tiger that long to figure out how to play a bad lie.

*****

What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They've both been clubbed by a Scandinavian.

[bigfrank Administrator Find all posts View Profile Close bigfrank]

Cubby in the home , Tiger out of the home

[happymum Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close happymum]

I hear Tiger is changing his name to Cheetah.

[bigfrank Administrator Find all posts View Profile Close bigfrank]

and today's Shirt of the day is?

You guessed it, Shirtaday - I slept with Tiger Woods T-Shirt

[Kentonmag Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kentonmag]

Tiger Woods owns many expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

What club did Elin Woods use to 'rescue' her husband? A bitching wedge.

Confucius says: Cheetah Down Under puts Tiger in deep Woods.

What do Tiger & his wife have in common? They both try to club his balls as hard as possible.

Tiger crashed his car because he was in a rush to move on to the second hole.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.

I don't know how she putts, but its clear she can't seem to hit the driver.

Why did Tiger cross the road? 'Cuz there was a pissed off Swede on this side.

Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers. They will be named, "Elin Woods -- Clubs you can beat Tiger with"

What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common? They're both clubbed by Swedes.

Word that Elin Woods was using a golf club as a "Rescue Club" now has been proved to be untrue as it now appears she was actually trying to knock the shit out of a Driver.

News travels fast. The Chinese are already making a movie about Tiger Woods' crash. They are calling it, " Scratching Swede, Lying Tiger.

I made it out of my driveway this morning, now I can finally say that I can out drive Tiger.

Tiger is now in trouble with his sponsor Gillette because he said that, "this was the closest shave I've ever had."

[mav Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mav]

Too Funny!!

I just logged and my day has been made already!

But I am still trying to figure out who would want to buy Playgirl mag. just to see his ....... see story below

<i>Playgirl</i> rep taking a close look at Tiger photos - Life and Style

Also a another mag. is being offered the pics
Here’s a Question: Do We Really Want to See Tiger Woods’s Junk? -- Daily Intel

[wackymother Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close wackymother]

Tiger Wood can't control his putts.

[rikkis_playpen Diamond Club Contributor Find all posts View Profile Close rikkis_playpen]

What the difference between Tiger and Santa? Santa stops after three ho's..

[T. R. Oglodyte Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close T. R. Oglodyte]

With his golfing career in tatters Tiger Woods is switching to professional coed softball. That's a smart move, because Tiger has pretty good average when there are women in scoring position.