The fight started!

[PHILL12 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PHILL12]

My wife sat on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked what was on TV?
I said , "Dust".
And then the fight started.

My wife and I were in bed watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" I turn to her and said.

"Do you want to have sex?"

No, she answered.

I then said "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes".

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend".

And then the fight started!


PHILL12

[shaggy Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close shaggy]

Good one. shaggy

[starlifter Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close starlifter]

Last year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. This year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....

[starlifter Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close starlifter]

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And that's when the fight started....

[PHILL12 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PHILL12]

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hook up the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage. turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back in the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with different anticipation, and whispered,"The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of ten years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that ?"

And the fight started!

PHILL12

[kapish Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close kapish]

Good thread!!!

[PHILL12 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PHILL12]

After retiring I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The women behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and relized I had left my wallet at home. I told the women I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The women said "Unbutton my shirt". So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said "That silver hair on your chest is enough proof for me and processed my Social Security application.

When I got home I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said "You should have dropped your pants, you might have gotten disability too."

Then the fight started !

Phill12

[PHILL12 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PHILL12]

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked "Do you know here"?

Yes, I sighed, She's my old girl friend. I understand she took to drinking after we split up those many years ago and I hear she hasn't been sober since.

"My God" says my wife, who would think a person could go on celebrating that long!

Then the fight started!

PHIL

[brother coony Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close brother coony]

What is Celibacy?
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Weekend, Fred and his wife,
Diane, listened to the instructor declare, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other...."

He then addressed the men, 'Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?'

Fred leaned over, touched Diane’s arm gently, and whispered,

'Gold Medal All-Purpose, isn't it?'

Than the fight Started

And began Fred’s life of celibacy.............









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[starlifter Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close starlifter]

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

[Glitter Brunello Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close Glitter Brunello]

I just got an email with all of these in it (except Brother Coony's celibacy one). They do go around and around - glad I checked before posting!