Cold

[RESORT2ME Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RESORT2ME]

You may ask me, "why do you not live in Michigan"?
I ask, "why does anyone want to live in Michigan"?

COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. .TOUGHNESS COUNTS!

65 degrees:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens.

60 degrees:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.

50 degrees:
Italian & English cars won't start..
People in Michigan drive with the windows down...

40 degrees:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.

35 degrees:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 degrees:
People in Miami all die.
Michiganders close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Michigan let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganders get upset because they can't start the Snowmobile.

40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Michigan start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'

50 below zero:

Hell freezes over.

Lions win the Super Bowl

[riverdees05 Platinum Contributor Find all posts View Profile Close riverdees05]

I am in Michigan now, keeping my two grandsons while their parents are out of the country on business - one in Mexico and the other in Columbia. I would take TN any September - May, but could consider MI from June-Aug, if I had to make a choice.

[vintner Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close vintner]

Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, and go to Hell.

The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves.
He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?

Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.'

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat even more.

When he returns to the room of the two guys from Minnesota , the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer.

The devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?'

Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da veather's dis nice.'

The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight.
Finally he comes up with the answer.

The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth.

The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men.

The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?'

They both look at the devil in surprise and say, 'Vell, don't ya know, if hell iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl'

[taffy19 Gold Contributor Find all posts View Profile Close taffy19]

If you need a chuckle, read the first post and the one above mine for the answer.

"COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. .TOUGHNESS COUNTS!"

[lawren2 Malibu Beach Barbie & A Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close lawren2]

I hate January and February in NY but I'm sure happy I didn't grow up in places where they need to plug in the cars to make sure they'd start.

[ssepulveda Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ssepulveda]

Hey hey hey

us floridians can handle alittle cold weather