Reverend helps a drunk parishioner

[WanderLust Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close WanderLust]

The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor in a small town in Ireland .

One day he was walking down the high street when he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer. The Reverend wasn't happy!

He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the woman.

"Miss Fitzgerald," he said sternly - "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"

"Sure!" she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.

When Miss Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth.

The Reverend realized that she'd had far too much to drink and grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor.

After a few moments, the Reverend wound up on top of Miss Fitgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.

The pub landlord looked over and said, "Oy mate, we won't have any of that carrying on in this pub."

The Reverend looked up at the landlord and said, "But you don't understand. I'm Pastor Fluff."

The landlord said, "Ah well, if you're that far in, ye might as well finish."

[Keitht Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close Keitht]

Lyrics below of what is described as "A traditional English Folk Song". Modern... possibly, traditional is pushing it.

There once was a very, very holy vicar
Went a-walking along the street one day.
When he heard a little voice say "Excuse me, vicar.
Help me, vicar." the voice did say.
And the vicar looked 'round, but all he could see
Was a tiny little frog sitting on the ground.
"My dear little froggy, did you speak to me?
Was it you that spoke when I heard that sound?"

"Oh yes," said the froggy, "Oh help me, vicar.
I'm really not a frog, you see.
I'm a choir-boy, really, but a wicked fairy
Cast a nasty spell on me.
And the only way that I can be saved
From this evil spell," the little frog said,
"Is for someone to take me and put me in a place
Where a holy man has laid his head."

So the vicar took him home, and put him on his pillow;
There he laid till the break of day,
And the very next morning, a blessed miracle,
The spell was broken, I'm glad to say.
And there was the choir-boy in bed with the vicar,
And I hope you think this all makes sense.
For there, my lords and members of the jury,
Rests the case for the defense.