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A woman awoke during the night on the day before their anniversary, to find that her husband was not in their bed. She put on her dressing gown and went downstairs to look for him.. She found him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watched as he wiped a tear from his eye and took a sip of his coffee. 'What's the matter, dear?' she whispered as she stepped into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?' The husband looked up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16 at the time. Do you remember back then?' he asked solemnly. The wife was touched to tears that her husband was so caring, so sensitive. 'Yes, I do' she replied. The husband paused. The words were not coming easily... 'And do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?' 'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him. The husband continued. 'and do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter right now, or I will send you to jail for 20 years for what you were doing?' 'I remember that too' she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said... 'I would have been released today. '
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... not enough time for all the timeshares ® -
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+1Originally posted by StressCadetComment
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Funny....It is good to read one of these and then laugh.
Thank you
PamComment
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LOL!!! Thanks for the laugh!
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After a day of frustration with recent system upgrades, this was a good way to make me smile.Comment
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As long as we're dusting off the oldies but goodies ....
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A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You've done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should take a night off, go into town, and kick up your heels for a bit." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
Around midnight the widow noted that he wasn’t back, but she figured it was still early.
One o'clock came, however, and still he hadn’t returned.
Two o'clock and she was still waiting.
Three a.m. and still no hired hand.
Finally he returned around three-thirty. He tried to enter quietly, so as not to awaken the widow, but when he came through the door, he found her sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, still up. He stopped still in the doorway, and she gazed at him standing there, looking him up and down. Then she stood up and called him over to her.
“Unbutton my blouse and take it off”, she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. “Now take off my boots.” He did as she asked, ever so slowly. “Now take off my socks.” He reached up under her skirt, undid the garter hooks, and peeled off each sock ever so gently, carefully placing them neatly by her boots. “Now take off my skirt.” He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
“Now take off my bra and panties.” Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped them to the floor.
Then she looked directly in his eyes, took a sip of wine, and said to him, “If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.”“Maybe you shouldn't dress like that.”
“This is a blouse and skirt. I don't know what you're talking about.”
“You shouldn't wear that body.”Comment
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wasn't expecting that...
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How about forgetting birthdays? A very important one for DW is the day before I fly back from Florida to drive her and the critters down.
Oops.
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Back to jokes.
Two guys wanted to hunt on the widow's place so they asked her if they could. She said sure, as long as they shared what they get. At the end of the day they thanked her and gave her half of what they got.
They asked her if they could hunt again tomorrow, and she said sure, as long they shared what they got, and, she said, they could stay in the room upstairs. They did, they gave her half what they got the next day, thanked her, and went home.
Several months later one guy said to the other, "You remember when we stayed at the widow's place?"
"Yeah."
"During the night you went downstairs and had your way with her, didn't you?"
"Yeah."
"You used my name, didn't you?"
"Yeah, how'd you know."
"She died and left me the farm."RCI Member Since 24-Aug-1989/150-plus Exchanges***THE TIMESHARE GRIM REAPER~~~Exchanging/Searching/SW Florida/MO/AR/IA/Consumer Advocacy/Estate Planning/Sports/Boating/Fishing/Golf/Lake-living/Retirement****Sometimes ya just gotta be a dickComment
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