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The miracle of toilet paperFresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically
telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a
suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet
paper and rub it between them for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in
front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 'How long will this
take?' I asked.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies. I
stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my
breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?'
Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your butt, didn't it?'
He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk
again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a
straw.
Stupid, stupid man.
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