Tweet
I just heard the Energizer Bunny was arrested.
He was charged with battery apparently.
groaner # 47 ?
He was charged with battery apparently.
groaner # 47 ?
-
-
I have a crime-scene photo. It shows Barnacle Bill next to a 9-volt EverReady. The crime?
Obviously ... a salt and battery
groaner #48
-
My Favorite one liner...
What did Bruce Lee like to drink when he was out at a club ?
waaaahhhh taaaahhh
get it
waaaaah taaaah
This is a better joke when said out loud.
Almost 50.. yuk yukComment
-
Dog fight domination.. #50
The Israeli Dog vs. The Iranian Dog
The Israelis and Iranians realized that, if they continued fighting, they would someday end up destroying the whole world. So they decided to settle their dispute with an ancient practice: a duel of two, like David and Goliath. This "duel" would be a dog fight.
The Iranians found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves.
The negotiators agreed each side would take 5 years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its people the right to rule the disputed areas. The losing side would have to lay down its nuclear weapons for good.
They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy of each litter, fed it the best food and killed all the other puppies. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine. After the 5 years were up, they had a dog that needed steel prison bars on its cage. Only expert trainers could handle this incredibly nasty and ferocious beast.
When the day of the big dog-fight finally arrived, the Israelis showed up with a very strange-looking animal, a Dachshund that was 10 feet long!
Everyone at the dogfight arena felt sorry for the Israelis. No one there seriously thought this weird, odd-looking animal stood any chance against the growling beast over in the Iranian camp. All the bookies took one look and predicted that the Iranian dog would win in less than a minute.
As the cages were opened, the Dachshund slowly waddled toward the center of the ring.
The Iranian dog leaped from its cage and charged the giant wiener-dog.
As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Iranian beast whole in one bite. There was nothing left but a small puff of fur from the Iranian killer dog's tail floating to the ground.
The stunned crowd of international observers, bookies and media personnel let out a collective gasp of disbelief and surprise.
The Iranians approached the Israelis, muttering and shaking their heads in disbelief. "We do not understand," said their leader, "Our top Russian and Chinese scientists and breeders worked for 5 long years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans, Rottweilers and Siberian wolves, and they developed an incredible killing machine of a dog!"
The Israelis replied. "Well, for 5 years, we have had a team of Jewish plastic surgeons from Boca Raton working to make an alligator from Louisiana look like a Dachshund."Comment
-
Five thirds of children don't properly learn fractions.
whew 51
Comment
-
70% of all statistics are made up on the spot by 64% of people that produce false statistics 54% of the time they produce them.
Comment
-
An elderly man in Florida, had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back.
It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange, and lime trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked..'
Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'
Some old men can still think fast.Comment
-
lol ha ha haComment
-
At this rate, you're gonna be at 3000 posts in no time.
Comment
-
Yes, but with some of these jokes, I am beginning to see another reason why he got banned OY.Originally posted by chriskre View PostAt this rate, you're gonna be at 3000 posts in no time.
DonComment
-
Originally posted by easyrider
JohnComment
-
Some of the jokes were pretty weak but you did have some good ones. I especially liked the dog one and the guy feeding the alligator.JohnComment
Comment