Why Some Men Have a Dog And No Wife:

[RESORT2ME Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RESORT2ME]

Why Some Men Have a Dog And No Wife:


1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.


2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.


3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.


4. A dog's parents never visit.


5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.


6. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.


7. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.


8. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"


9. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.


10. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.


11. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

　

And last, but not least:

12. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.



To test this theory:

Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open it and see who's happy to see you.

[pkyorkbeach Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close pkyorkbeach]

How true!!!!!!!!!!!

[EstesM Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close EstesM]

hahaha
here is something else about women
stuff they say
catch phrases if you will

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.

3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No 9 for the meaning of nothing.)

5. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot', which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' - that will bring on No. 7).

7. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying, "F-- YOU!"

8. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to No. 4.

9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in "Fine".

I would add a tenth here:

10 If that's what you want: Generally a pre-emptive "I told you so" that grants patient permission for a man's obviously-doomed-to-fail enterprise.

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[bezerk Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close bezerk]

Perfect so now all the men that read this should know correct actions and responses...I love it....

[easyrider Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close easyrider]

uh oh, I just got a combination of 3, 4,8, 4, 5 and 7 from the sweetie about a dog that showed up on our back porch last Monday. I want it gone, she keeps feeding it. Stupid dog.