Marriage

[Danny Titus Member Find all posts View Profile Close Danny Titus]

Marriage After 25 Years


Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed, and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year old blonde.


"Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed, and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50-year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."


My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, and sleeping on a sofa bed.

[funtime2 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close funtime2]

That is a good one. I will make sure my DH gets a copy to take to work.

[TravelBug Member Find all posts View Profile Close TravelBug]

Great joke ...I just sent it to my husband...he keeps saying he's going to trade me in for a couple of 25 year olds.

[travelfan Member Find all posts View Profile Close travelfan]

Dan, That is the best laugh joke I've had in a long time. I showed it to Steve (I love planting "seeds.") and he had a great laugh, too. Thanks!!!!

[bigfrank Administrator Find all posts View Profile Close bigfrank]

> Marriage - Part I
>
> Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady
> and after the wedding, he laid down the following
> rules:
> "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I
> don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on
> table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go
> hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old
> buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my
> rules. Any comments?"
>
> His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just
> understand that there will be sex here at seven
> o'clock every night ........ whether you're here or
> not."
> (DAMM SHE'S GOOD!)
>
> ************************************
> Marriage (Part II)
>
>
> Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
> wedding anniversary!
>
> The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
> reads:"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
>
> "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that

> reads: "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"
>
> (HE ASKED FOR IT!)
>
> ******************************
>
> Marriage (Part III)
>
> Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
> table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in
> bed either," and storms out of the house.
> After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends
> and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the
> irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"
> She says,
> "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?"
> "Getting a second opinion!"
>
> (YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
>
> ******************************************
> Marriage (Part IV)
>
> A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is
> so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six"

> in spite of her objections.
> One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go
> home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He

> shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
> His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right

> back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
>
> (RIGHT ON, LADY!)
>
> **************************************
>
> Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment
>
> A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were
> giving each other the silent treatment.
> Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife
> to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not
> wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on

> a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he
> knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up , only to
> discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was

> about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a

> piece of paper by the bed. The
> paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
>
> Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
> God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough
> draft before the masterpiece.

[mshatty Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close mshatty]

bigfrank,

I don't know where you get all of these jokes but they're great!