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If your local Dairy Queen is closed fromNovember through March, you might
live in Missouri.
If someone in a store offers you assistance &they don't work there, you
might live in Missouri.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, you might live in Missouri.
If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time,you might live
in Missouri.
If your town has an equal number of bars andchurches, you might live in
Missouri.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong number, you might live in Missouri.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Missourian WHEN:
1. Vacation means going east or west on I-70for the weekend but you never
leave the state.
2. You measure distance in ½ days.
3. You know several people who have hit adeer more than once.
4. You often switch from heat to AC in thesame day and back again.
5. You drive 65 mph through a ragingblizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage atsocial events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your houseand garage and leave both
unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car andknow how to use them.
9. You design your kids Halloween costume tofit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter becausethe potholes are filled with
snow.
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter,winter, still winter, road
construction, & It's Hot.
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is astatue of a deer next to a blue
spruce.
13. "Down south" means the boot hill ofMissouri.
14. A brat is something you eat.
15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebratehis new pole shed.
16. You go out to a tailgate party everyFriday.
17. You have more miles on your snow blowerthan your car.
18. You find 0 degrees a "little chilly."
19. You know the difference between corn andsoy beans at a glance.
20. The #1 reason you are from Missouriisbecause you know that East St.
Louis is not in Missouri.
21. A "hill" is any landmass higher than 20feet above sea level.
22. You never drive anywhere within 20 miles of home without there being
road construction.
23. You don't believe it until you see it.
24. You actually understand these jokes, and you could copy and forward
them to all your Missouri friends.
What's not to understand?
live in Missouri.
If someone in a store offers you assistance &they don't work there, you
might live in Missouri.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, you might live in Missouri.
If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time,you might live
in Missouri.
If your town has an equal number of bars andchurches, you might live in
Missouri.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong number, you might live in Missouri.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Missourian WHEN:
1. Vacation means going east or west on I-70for the weekend but you never
leave the state.
2. You measure distance in ½ days.
3. You know several people who have hit adeer more than once.
4. You often switch from heat to AC in thesame day and back again.
5. You drive 65 mph through a ragingblizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage atsocial events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your houseand garage and leave both
unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car andknow how to use them.
9. You design your kids Halloween costume tofit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter becausethe potholes are filled with
snow.
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter,winter, still winter, road
construction, & It's Hot.
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is astatue of a deer next to a blue
spruce.
13. "Down south" means the boot hill ofMissouri.
14. A brat is something you eat.
15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebratehis new pole shed.
16. You go out to a tailgate party everyFriday.
17. You have more miles on your snow blowerthan your car.
18. You find 0 degrees a "little chilly."
19. You know the difference between corn andsoy beans at a glance.
20. The #1 reason you are from Missouriisbecause you know that East St.
Louis is not in Missouri.
21. A "hill" is any landmass higher than 20feet above sea level.
22. You never drive anywhere within 20 miles of home without there being
road construction.
23. You don't believe it until you see it.
24. You actually understand these jokes, and you could copy and forward
them to all your Missouri friends.
What's not to understand?
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