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Shopping at Walmart
> >
> > Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her
> > husband go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets so bored with all the shopping
> > trips. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to
> > browse.
> >
> > One day Mrs. Fenton gets this letter from Wal-Mart:
> > Dear Mrs. Fenton,
> > Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
> > commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may
> > ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on
> > our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton
> > are listed below.
> >
> > Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:
> > 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
> > people's carts when they weren't looking.
> >
> > 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at
> > 5-minute intervals.
> >
> > 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
> > the ladies rest rooms.
> >
> > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
> > tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... and watched what happened.
> >
> > 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of
> > M&M's on layaway.
> >
> > 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
> > carpeted area.
> >
> > 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
> > told other shoppers he'd invite them in, if they'll bring pillows from the
> > bedding department.
> >
> > 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he
> > begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
> >
> > 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as
> > a mirror, and picked his nose.
> >
> > 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
> > asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
> >
> > 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly
> > humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
> >
> > 12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
> > "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
> >
> > 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
> > through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
> >
> > 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
> > speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's
those
> > voices again!!!!"
> >
> > And last, but not least ..
> >
> > 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
> > awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
> >
> >
> > Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her
> > husband go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets so bored with all the shopping
> > trips. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to
> > browse.
> >
> > One day Mrs. Fenton gets this letter from Wal-Mart:
> > Dear Mrs. Fenton,
> > Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
> > commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may
> > ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on
> > our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton
> > are listed below.
> >
> > Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:
> > 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
> > people's carts when they weren't looking.
> >
> > 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at
> > 5-minute intervals.
> >
> > 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
> > the ladies rest rooms.
> >
> > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
> > tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... and watched what happened.
> >
> > 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of
> > M&M's on layaway.
> >
> > 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
> > carpeted area.
> >
> > 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
> > told other shoppers he'd invite them in, if they'll bring pillows from the
> > bedding department.
> >
> > 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he
> > begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
> >
> > 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as
> > a mirror, and picked his nose.
> >
> > 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
> > asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
> >
> > 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly
> > humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
> >
> > 12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
> > "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
> >
> > 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
> > through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
> >
> > 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
> > speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's
those
> > voices again!!!!"
> >
> > And last, but not least ..
> >
> > 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
> > awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
> >
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