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Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't
prepared to hear the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and
asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned!
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.
Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes,
I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy,
igoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal
relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the
entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney nearly collapsed. The judge instructed both
counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."
prepared to hear the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and
asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned!
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.
Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes,
I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy,
igoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal
relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the
entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney nearly collapsed. The judge instructed both
counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."
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