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Dog - Cat Diary

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  • Dog - Cat Diary

    DOG DIARY:

    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

    12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

    5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    CAT DIARY:

    Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
    little dangling objects.

    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
    hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
    rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
    keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
    escape.

    In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
    I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
    demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
    condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
    placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
    I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
    confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
    means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
    tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
    again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
    The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
    seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
    guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
    captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so
    he is safe.
    For now...

    ...>^..^<""" bye!
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