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A lawyer's nightmare

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  • A lawyer's nightmare

    In a trial, a small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness,an elderly grandmother, to the stand.

    He approached her and asked: " Mrs Jones, do you know me? "

    She responded: " Why yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people, and talk about them behind their backs. You think that you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize that you will never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. "

    The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked: " Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney? "

    She again replied: " Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Also, he has cheated on his wife with three different women, one of whom was your wife. Yes, I know him. "

    The defense attorney almost died.

    The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and, in a quiet voice, said: " If either of you asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair. "

  • #2
    Originally posted by redtailriser
    In a trial, a small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness,an elderly grandmother, to the stand.

    He approached her and asked: " Mrs Jones, do you know me? "

    She responded: " Why yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people, and talk about them behind their backs. You think that you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize that you will never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. "

    The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked: " Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney? "

    She again replied: " Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Also, he has cheated on his wife with three different women, one of whom was your wife. Yes, I know him. "

    The defense attorney almost died.

    The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and, in a quiet voice, said: " If either of you asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair. "
    In the version I first heard, the grandmother was a retired school teacher who had taught both lawyers and the judge.
    “Maybe you shouldn't dress like that.”

    “This is a blouse and skirt. I don't know what you're talking about.”

    “You shouldn't wear that body.”

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