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Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the
> night. Mick, the bartender, says "You'll not be drinking any more tonight,
> Paddy."
>
> Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then". Paddy spins around
> on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
>
> "What the...." he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts
> himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face
> again. "Damn!" he says.
>
> He looks to the doorway and thinks that if he can just get to the
> door and get some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and
> shimmies up the door frame.
>
> He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air,
> feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat on
> his face.
>
> "Bi'Jesus... I'm soused," he says.
>
> He can see his house just a few doors down, and decides to try for
> it. He crawls down the street and shimmies up the door frame, opens the
> door and looks inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says, "No
> flappin' way."
>
>But he somehow crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and thinks,
> "I think I can make it to the bed." He takes a step into the room and
> falls flat on his face again. He says, "This is hell. I gotta stop
> drinking," but manages to crawl to the bed and fall in.
>
> The next morning, his wife comes into the room carrying a cup of
> coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"
>
> Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was totally pissfaced. But how'd you
> know?"
>
> "Mick called.. You left your wheelchair at the pub."
> night. Mick, the bartender, says "You'll not be drinking any more tonight,
> Paddy."
>
> Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then". Paddy spins around
> on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
>
> "What the...." he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts
> himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face
> again. "Damn!" he says.
>
> He looks to the doorway and thinks that if he can just get to the
> door and get some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and
> shimmies up the door frame.
>
> He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air,
> feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat on
> his face.
>
> "Bi'Jesus... I'm soused," he says.
>
> He can see his house just a few doors down, and decides to try for
> it. He crawls down the street and shimmies up the door frame, opens the
> door and looks inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says, "No
> flappin' way."
>
>But he somehow crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and thinks,
> "I think I can make it to the bed." He takes a step into the room and
> falls flat on his face again. He says, "This is hell. I gotta stop
> drinking," but manages to crawl to the bed and fall in.
>
> The next morning, his wife comes into the room carrying a cup of
> coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"
>
> Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was totally pissfaced. But how'd you
> know?"
>
> "Mick called.. You left your wheelchair at the pub."
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