Parish Registration

[In the Pink Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close In the Pink]

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young
newlywed couple wanted to join a church.

The pastor said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You
must abstain from having sex for two weeks."

The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to
abstain from sex for the two weeks?"

The old man replied, "No problem at all, Pastor."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.

The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were
you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"

The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week
I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes, we made it."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.

The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked, "Well, were
you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"

"No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks,"
the young man replied sadly.

"What Happened?" inquired the pastor.

"My wife was reaching for a can of paint on the top shelf and
dropped it.

When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and
took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in
our church," stated the pastor.

"We know," said the young man, "We're not welcome at Home Depot
anymore either."

[bigfrank Administrator Find all posts View Profile Close bigfrank]

ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION


'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.


The Priest asks, 'Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?'

'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?'


'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.'

'Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you
may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'

'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Volpe?'

'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustr ation. 'You're very tight lipped, Johnny
Parisi, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You
cannot be an
altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and
whispers, 'What'd you get?'

'Four months vacation and five good leads.'

[In the Pink Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close In the Pink]

LOL good one Frank!

[Maggie Member Find all posts View Profile Close Maggie]

thanks for the jokes, I needed a laugh this morning