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Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when
one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,
minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,
threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what
you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
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Understanding Engineers - Take Two
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting
for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept
golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
him."
He said, "Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire
fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell
silent.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
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Understanding Engineers - Take Three
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing
the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical
engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of
electrical connections. "The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil
engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a
recreational area?"
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Understanding Engineers - Take Four
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called
out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful
princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn
me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it
and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back
into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put
it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you
I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week
and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time
for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when
one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,
minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,
threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what
you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting
for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept
golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
him."
He said, "Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire
fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell
silent.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing
the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical
engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of
electrical connections. "The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil
engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a
recreational area?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called
out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful
princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn
me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it
and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back
into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put
it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you
I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week
and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time
for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool
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