Two Ladies Talking in Heaven

[lawren2 Malibu Beach Barbie & A Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close lawren2]

>
> 1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.
> 2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?
>
> 1st woman: I froze to death.
> 2nd woman: How horrible!
>
> 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began
> to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
>
> 2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband
> was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I
> found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
>
> 1st woman: So, what happened?
>
> 2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I
> started running all over the house looking.
>
> I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went
> through every closet and checked under all the beds.
>
> I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so
> exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
>
> 1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd
> both still be alive.
>

[jericap Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close jericap]

I love it!!!

[Denise Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Denise]

I needed that laugh!

Thanks for that!

[T. R. Oglodyte Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close T. R. Oglodyte]

Lawren's First Horse Ride

Young Lawren decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but Lawren soon begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, Lawren attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, Lawren's foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune..... Bill, the K-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

[jericap Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close jericap]

Steve,
That was great!!

[ArtsieAng Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close ArtsieAng]

Very funny guys!

Lawren, thank God for Bill. I was getting scared there, for a moment.

[kbletzer Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kbletzer]

Lawren's First Horse Ride

Young Lawren decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but Lawren soon begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, Lawren attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, Lawren's foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune..... Bill, the K-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

I was about to have a heart attack!


Very funny Steve!

[lawren2 Malibu Beach Barbie & A Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close lawren2]

Lawren's First Horse Ride

Young Lawren decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but Lawren soon begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, Lawren attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, Lawren's foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune..... Bill, the K-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

You are lucky I like you Steve but be forewarned that I will be watching and waiting for my opportunity.

[bevvy5 Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close bevvy5]

You are lucky I like you Steve but be forewarned that I will be watching and waiting for my opportunity.

Yes, I imagine the next Caveman joke has your name on it, Steve.

[Joe L Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Joe L]

A loving wife is checking her husbands pockets before she puts them in the wash. She finds a piece of paper that has the words "Call Hot Lawren". She walks up to him and smacks him on the head. The hubby asks why?

She shows him the note. He tells her that is the name of the horse he bet on yesterday. She is so relieved. The next day the hubby is sitting at the kitchen table and she smacks him again. He asks why? She says, "Your Horse Just Called"