Is this funny?

[T. R. Oglodyte Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close T. R. Oglodyte]

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

[Holly in South Jersey Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Holly in South Jersey]

The dyslexic guy sold his soul to santa.

The dyslexic insomniac who stayed up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Why do seagulls live by the sea? if they lived by the bay, they'd be bay-gulls.

How do you catch a unique rabbit? You neak up on him.


Those are my best, or maybe my worst, LOL
Holly

[Beaglemom3 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Beaglemom3]

Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Shotgun wedding A case of wife or death.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

[vintner Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close vintner]

How do you catch a unique rabbit? You neak up on him.

Holly

How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way!

[T. R. Oglodyte Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close T. R. Oglodyte]

With so many people no longer regularly attending and supporting churches, many religious organizations have fallen on hard time. To help make ends meet, one monastery opened up a small florist shop to help raise money. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his Mother to go and ask the friars to get out of the business. They ignored her too.

So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

[mshatty Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close mshatty]

Cannibal is telling his buddy about his recent catch. "Yeah, I caught a couple of Catholic monks on the river and boiled them. They tasted awful."

His buddy replied, "You boiled them??"

"Yeah" said the cannibal.

His buddy, "No wonder, didn't you know they were friars?"

[zdxlc9p6 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close zdxlc9p6]

Another one you might like:
Portabella mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender looks up and says, we don't serve your kind here. Mushroom looks at him and says, "Why not? I'm a fun-gi."

[T. R. Oglodyte Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close T. R. Oglodyte]

Two silkworms were in a race. They both ended up in a tie.

[lawren2 Malibu Beach Barbie & A Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close lawren2]

A dog walked into a bar and asked for a beer. With that a man at the bar said I don't want to drink at the same bar as this dog. The dog and the man got into a fight and the man shot the
dog in the foot. With that the dog yelped out of the bar and down the street.

A week later the same dog walked into the same bar, this time he was wearing a black hat, a black vest, black chaps, black boots, a black gun belt with a pair of black colt .45's one on
either side, and a black bandage around his sore foot. He goes up to the bar and says to the bar tender "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw"

[Guest Close Quarterbore]

News Flash: Walmart Sells Out of Ammunition!

All of the Wal-Mart stores across Alabama sold out of ammunition as of yesterday. A reliable source said that one of the purchasers, a good ol' boy named Bubba (what else), commented that while Russia may have invaded Georgia, they sure as hell ain't doin' it to Alabama.

[T. R. Oglodyte Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close T. R. Oglodyte]

An elderly couple was having dinner at another couple's house. After their meal, the wives went into the kitchen.

The two elderly gents were talking, and one says, "Last night we went out to a fabulous new restaurant that I'd highly recommend.

The other man says, "What's the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thinks long and hard with a furrowed brow, finally saying, "Uh, what is the name of that red flower you give to someone you love?"

His friend replies, "A carnation?"

"No, no. The other one," the man says.

His friend suggests, "The poppy?"

"No, no, no," growls the man. "You know--the one that is red and has thorns."

His friend says, "Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes! Thank you," the first man says. He then turns toward the kitchen and yells, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"