That's How the Fight Started

[Elan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Elan]

I seem to remember a similar thread earlier, but I don't remember these particular jokes.

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THAT'S HOW THE FIGHT STARTED :


One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the
gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
************************************************** **********************
My wife walked into the den & asked "Whats on the tv?"
I replied "Dust".
And that's how the fight started.....
************************************************** **********************
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
And that's how the fight started.....
************************************************** **********************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200
in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And that's how the fight started.....
************************************************** **********************
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started....
************************************************** **********************
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were
in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started....
************************************************** *********************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive. So, I took her to a gas station.
And that's when the fight started.....
************************************************** **********************
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started.....
************************************************** **********************

[lawren2 Malibu Beach Barbie & A Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close lawren2]

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were
in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started....

[T. R. Oglodyte Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close T. R. Oglodyte]

My wife was standing in front of the mirror the other day and said "I feel horrible. I look, old, fat, and ugly. My ass looks like two cement trucks parked next to each other. I need you to give me a compliment."

So I said, "Your eyesight is just as good as the day we met."

And that's when the fight started.

[easyrider Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close easyrider]

lol......................my wife thought these were funny. me too