This one's for you Beags........

[susieq Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close susieq]

Knew you'd love these............

On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Yankees fan.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Yankees fans.

Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise,

"Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Yankees fan," she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Yankees fan, then who are you a fan of?"

"I am a Red Sox fan, and proud of it," Janie replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, why pray tell are you a Red Sox fan?"
"Because my mom is a Red Sox fan, and my dad is Red Sox fan, so I'm a Red Sox fan too!"

"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for

you to be a Red Sox fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom were an idiot and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?"

"Then," Janie smiled, "I'd be a Yankees fan."
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A family of New York Yankee fans headed out one Saturday to shop for the youngest boy's birthday.

While in the sports shop the son picks up a Red Sox jersey and says to his older sister, "I've decided to become a Red Sox fan and I would like this Boston Red Sox jersey for my birthday."

His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him upside his head and says, "Go talk to mother."

Off goes the little lad with the jersey in hand and finds his mother. "Mom?"

"Yes, son?"

"I've decided I'm going to be a Red Sox fan and I would like this jersey for

my birthday."

The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Go talk to your father!"

Off he goes with the Red Sox jersey in hand and finds his father. "Dad?"

"Yes, son?"

"I've decided I'm going to be a Red Sox fan and I would like this jersey for

my birthday."

The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son in the back of his head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"

About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?"

The son says, "Yes, Dad, I have."

"Good! And what is it you learned?"

The son replies, "I've only been a Red Sox fan for an hour and I already hate you Yankee bastards!"

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Four baseball fans - a Cubs fan, a Cardinals fan, a Red Sox fan, and a Yankees fan - are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.

The Cubs fan insists he is the most loyal. "This is for the Cubs!" he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.

Not to be outdone, the Cardinals fan shouts, "This is for the Cardinals!" and throws himself off the mountain.

The Red Sox fan is next to profess his love for his team.

He yells, "This is for everyone!" and pushes the Yankees fan off the mountain.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

A Red Sox fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Yankees fan he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious NY pinstripe shirt. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them.

One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

"I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest.

"Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road.

Suddenly, the driver saw a Yankees fan walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time.

Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything.

He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, sorry Father, I almost hit that Yankees fan."

"That's OK," replied the priest "I got him with the door."

[Faust Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close Faust]

[Beaglemom3 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Beaglemom3]

Me, too ! Got to go, just wet my pants laughing.................. Thanks.

[kapish Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close kapish]

I loved the last one especially!

[shaggy Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close shaggy]

Good ones!!! shaggy

[Beaglemom3 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Beaglemom3]

Right back at you, Susieq - this one's for you !

Red Sox Fan & Yankees Fan

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One foggy night, a Yankees fan was heading north from New York and a
Red Sox fan was driving south from Boston. While crossing a narrow bridge,
they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Red Sox fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the
damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"
Likewise, the Yankees fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling
fortunate to have survived.

The Yankees fan walks over to the Red Sox fan and says, "Hey, man, I
think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and
live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Red Sox fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're
absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something
else survived the wreck."

The Red Sox fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full,
undamaged bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Yankee, "I think this is
another sign- we should toast to our newfound friendship."

The Yankee fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half
of the bottle, he hands it back to the Red Sox fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Red Sox fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the
rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think
I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

[grest Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close grest]

Now this is entertainment!
Connie

[Faust Super Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close Faust]

On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless man, wearing a New York Yankee jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark.

As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Boston Red Sox jerseys aboard. One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark’s side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious Yankee fan from the water. Then using autographed David Ortiz baseball bats, the three Boston heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. “I give you my blessing for your brave actions,” he told them. “I heard that there was some bitter hatred between Red Sox and Yankee fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not the truth.”

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies “Who was that?” It was the Pope,” one replied. “He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God’s wisdom.” “Well,” the harpooner said, “He may have access to God’s wisdom but he doesn’t know squat about shark fishing. How’s the bait holding up?”

[susieq Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close susieq]

Red Sox Fan & Yankees Fan

On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a ...........

:

And the beat goes on ............

Sue

[Jimbo Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jimbo]

Not sure whether to laugh or cry. My wife thinks I should shut the door either way.

Great jokes...

[grest Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close grest]

My husband is now looking forward to a new Red Sox/Yankees joke every day...he's never been so interested in a timesharing board!
connie